Well what a day it has been! I can safely say that I'm happy now, however this has not been the case for the rest of the day. Well after my last post i decided i was going to watch the remaining episodes of Glee. Man i have been hooked into it something rotten. I can now say that i understand it, i miss it and now am waiting for the next series to start. until then i have all the music downloaded on my computer and am listening to constantly.
I have to be honest, after all this it was about 2pm and i really needed to finish lisa's card. So instead of getting on with it i chose to piss about on the internet. Dam facebook games, they are good but the sucker you in until your hooked and then you find you start wasting lots and lots of time playing the dam things. UUUURRRRGGGGGG! they should be banned. you know i think they were designed for students however they are so good that most of friends who play the games all have families of there own, its funny.
It was at this point that i started to go and get some lunch. I know i know, its late, again. I really cant help it. Time just flies past and i don't seamed to get hungry. This can not be good surely? When i realized what the time was i went downstairs and looked in the fridge to get some salad. I noticed we only had a little bit of lettuce left. This is not good. So i made a decision, i was going to have more soup. So i did. I have to say having the same soup every single day is extremly boring and i did not enjoy it one but, but because it was in the fridge i have to eat it other wise it would be a waste of food. So i settled down in the living room and watched a little bit of telly. Then my day started to get worse. i thought i would play a little bit of Zelda and see what would happen. Its only now that i think about it that i really should not have picked up the Wii remote. So with numbchuck in one hand and the remote in the other i told myself that i was only going to play for a little while. YEAH RIGHT DUMMY! 5mins turned to 10mins, then to 30mins, then to 60mins. before i knew it i had been playing for TWO HOURS!!!!!!!!! i would like to say that it was a most enjoyable affair however it sadly was not. I found myself so worked up that i was calling the computer names, swearing at the TV. Now poor William happened to come home right at the wrong moment. So with steam now pouring out of my ears, eyes red with rage, and a sweat which was now being brought on by over activity i really was a welcome home. I couldn't beat the dam monsters! Who invented such a game that could get you soooooo worked up. For God's sake its not even real life. Its a Game, nothing more however this really had put me in a foul mood. In the end i gave up. Well i think i gave up, all i can remember is throwing the remotes to the floor and put on one huge temper tantrum. William knew i was extremely wound up. Why did it get me this bad? William said he is going to take it to work with him tomorrow, i think that might be a good idea, don't you? Well i think it is down to the fact that i have not had chocolate or dairy since Friday, making that 5 days on the wagon. William cleared all the cupboards of everything which was a no no for me. However he failed to mention this to me this morning, as when i went to get the pasta out the cupboard at lunch time i thought to myself, that's strange, its empty. I'll have to take a photo and post on hear, my sweet stash is now no more, well until the detox has finished. So like a drunk who has been denied alcohol, i am not a very nice person to be around at the moment. Withdrawal SUCKS BIG TIME!
After eating dinner, made completely in silence as i was still steaming at the fact i couldn't destroy the monster, i sat down and started to eat. Every bit i took i became more and more at ease and ready to talk to William. I feel really sorry for him as since he came home i had been really really nasty to him. He moved over to the sofa i was sat on and cuddled in after we had finished eating. He then looked at am and said, fancy swimming? All i could say was Yes Please!!!!!!! swimming always makes me feel better, i love it. So we packed the bags and headed out. I only swam 500m today, not very fast but it was enough for me to say to William i had had enough and wanted to go home. So as we left the car walking into out house i felt all my muscles tightening in my legs. Now i know i am swimming faster, my legs hurt.
Anyway i have to sleep now, its 11:32pm and I'm knackered. William has just got off the phone to his sister Lisa so sleep is in order. So nitey nite blogging world.
PS: Lisa passed her exams and she is now a Doctor! only 2 years i think under supervision. bye bye
Wednesday 31 March 2010
Goood morning Bloggers!!!
Good morning all. Have to admit im really really well today. After my last blog yesterday i didn't go to bed. Instead i stayed up for a further 2.5hrs and played Zelda on the Wii. William was helping me and it felt good. As we decided enough was enough and went to bed i became very worried if i was going to have bad dreams because the game, well it was a little violent. But as i snuggled down in bed, coco cuddle against my feet under the duvet and William cuddling me i realized that it doesn't matter if i did, because they were dreams, and that is all. You can not be scared of something that happens when you sleep, otherwise you would never sleep. So the next thing i heard was "tablet time". As i kinda raised one eye i noticed it was extremely bright in our bedroom. Yet again William was up and ready for work and had tablets in one hand and water in the other. I didn't want to put this off today so i gladly took both of the items from him. Then it hit me i have no free hands to take the tablets. I think Will laughed at me on seeing this as i really was not awake, but sure enough he held one of the items and so i took my tablets straight away. William then kissed me on the head and said his goodbyes. I think i may have grunted something but can not really remember. The next thing i knew was it was 9:50am and i was listening to Chris moyles car park catch phrase on the radio. He is so funny to listen to, although he is one of those people that if you join a conversation to late, you can quiet easily take it a completely different way it was intended. So the first words i heard were "he has a little one doesn't he?" lol, they were talking about cars, but yeah, i bet you thought the same as me. lol
Well its a big day today for my sister in law. You see last week she sat several exams and they are the finals for her time at uni. Now these exams if passed means that she will find out if she has qualified as a Dr. Now if she does, which lets face it she has more intelligence then she gives herself means she can then work as an F1 in hospitals. She could then call herself a Doctor however not practice without supervision. How cool is that? a Doctor in the family. Though if she is anything like her bother, William, the hospital world better watch out because they have one extremely bright young lady! We said to her when we visited after Christmas that if she passed we would buy her a pink Filofax. Now she could have asked for anything, but she said she had a pen which would match one, and well if that's what she wants then so be it. Ive already looked online to see where we could get a really good one. Man i hope William reads this before he comes home because then i don't have to tell/ask him to take me shopping on Friday to find one. I am soooo naughty and cheeky at the same time. Well here is fingers crossed, but I'm not tooo worried as i have already started making a congratulations card, in fact i think I'm almost done.
Well as i said I'm in a good state today. Its lunch time and i feel hungry and i have had my morning set meals for food. so yeah - lets bring on the afternoon. So until later, bye bye bye. x
Well its a big day today for my sister in law. You see last week she sat several exams and they are the finals for her time at uni. Now these exams if passed means that she will find out if she has qualified as a Dr. Now if she does, which lets face it she has more intelligence then she gives herself means she can then work as an F1 in hospitals. She could then call herself a Doctor however not practice without supervision. How cool is that? a Doctor in the family. Though if she is anything like her bother, William, the hospital world better watch out because they have one extremely bright young lady! We said to her when we visited after Christmas that if she passed we would buy her a pink Filofax. Now she could have asked for anything, but she said she had a pen which would match one, and well if that's what she wants then so be it. Ive already looked online to see where we could get a really good one. Man i hope William reads this before he comes home because then i don't have to tell/ask him to take me shopping on Friday to find one. I am soooo naughty and cheeky at the same time. Well here is fingers crossed, but I'm not tooo worried as i have already started making a congratulations card, in fact i think I'm almost done.
Well as i said I'm in a good state today. Its lunch time and i feel hungry and i have had my morning set meals for food. so yeah - lets bring on the afternoon. So until later, bye bye bye. x
Tuesday 30 March 2010
True Colours
Have you ever wondered what true colour you really are? i have just listened to the song true colour's and it got me thinking, what colour would i be. like a mood ring tells you weather you in a good mood or not, i don't know. I think after today i would be dark blue. Today has not gone how i imagined it to go, and i feel myself now feeling very very low. Maybe its because im detoxing again and so can not have the sugars i have been used to, or may be it because I'm realizing that my life is not a straight forward as it seams. Either way im blue. Since my blog this morning i was having a good time, i was making Bruni's cards and then she poped online. As i sat talking to her the time flew by. Its been ages since we just had a chat. It was nice because i could finally speak to someone other then the dog during day light hours. We spoke about lots of things, some thing even can not be mentioned on here. Bruni i know you reading this and dam girl you are a bad influence on me! Well it was really a distraction that i needed. After the call had finished i couldn't help but think that its ages until William got home. I started thinking of what i hadn't done today when i had such a plan in my head. Its no good i kept thinking whilst all the time trying to make me move from the chair in the study. Today is not a good day to be blue. I then went downstairs and stared to play Zelda, a game my sister had lent me when we visited a few weekends ago. I couldn't do thins one part of the game so i called William. I asked him how to pass the section i was on like he was in the room with me. He couldn't give me the answer that i wanted and so i snapped at him. I think i even hung the phone down on him. I remember feeling really really angry at him. I think i was more angry at myself however William seamed to get the brunt of all of it. Right now as im sulking up in my craft room, he is busy cleaning the kitchen, something that i should in fact be doing considering this is my job. But again i cant do it. What ever made me think that i was a good housewife? I'm always looking for ways to make myself busy, but in all the wrong places. I'm such a lay about! no, no i am not. Scrap that. Im not going to get myself down about this. What is done is done. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! i just want to SCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! i really can not wait for the day that i can just wake up and everything would be ok, nothing would be wrong, i would be happy and the world with have pretty rainbows and everyone will be smiling. I know this will never happen but surly if i work at it we can create such a place? you know what, i know what my problem is? i have not eaten enough today. I think all day ive had a fruit salad, 2 ltrs of water and a large chicken salad. Why do i do this to myself. I have everything i need in the house, why do i still have the easy road and not face eating food at all? I mean for someone of my size eating food was always a good habit, now it seams that i'm loosing my grip on what the meaning of food actually is. Food is my friend. I have noticed that when i am blue i don't eat, and when i,m depressed i eat fast food and rubbish. Well i'm at the breaking point of blue and reaching for the phone with the pizza place on speed dial. NO NO NO NO NO! this is not good at all.
Ill give you a little glimpse of what happened when William returned home. It was still light so William said about taking Coco up the hill for a run. As we were traveling up the hill i explained what i had done today and the people i had spoken to, Bruni and my Sister Marie. I was asking if William could get some time off work so we could possible take our niece out swimming like we did last time. William was ok with this however in the back of the car the dog was getting more and more exciting and her small squeaks soon turned to loud barks. It was because of this that William snapped at me as he can not stand her doing this. I however in my already on edge mood took this the wrong way and well pretty much yelled at him back, stormed out of the car while he was parking, let the dog out and got back in the car to sulk. Bless William he really did not know what to do so he just left me too it. as i sat in the car i looked for a Cd to put on and really couldn't find one to suit my mood so i listen to what ever was on the radio. It happened to be Dancing Queen by Abba. I listened to the words and couldn't help think that the lyrics "you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life, see that girl, watch her dance, checking the dancing queen" could mean me. If i stopped looking at all the negatives which have or have not happened yet and started to get on with the positive then i am never going to get better. I am never going to have the "time of my Life". So as we drove back home i thought how this could work. I then remembered that i had a call from the lady at the gym today. I have been on the phone a lot today. I explained to William when my induction is and where. I also explained the different ways we can pay. William was happy at this and well i think he is wondering whether i will in fact use the gym. But i am going to prove, him, everyone and last but no means least myself that i will use the gym, even if it will break me. Dam it i want to hit my goal, and i am going to hit it in the nuts and dance on its grave when it hit it before i have planed! Well i am gonna logg off now cos its 8:55pm and im starting to get tired, i dont want to feel that im married to my craft room as i seamed to spend more time in hear then with William lately. lol.
Nity Nite
Ill give you a little glimpse of what happened when William returned home. It was still light so William said about taking Coco up the hill for a run. As we were traveling up the hill i explained what i had done today and the people i had spoken to, Bruni and my Sister Marie. I was asking if William could get some time off work so we could possible take our niece out swimming like we did last time. William was ok with this however in the back of the car the dog was getting more and more exciting and her small squeaks soon turned to loud barks. It was because of this that William snapped at me as he can not stand her doing this. I however in my already on edge mood took this the wrong way and well pretty much yelled at him back, stormed out of the car while he was parking, let the dog out and got back in the car to sulk. Bless William he really did not know what to do so he just left me too it. as i sat in the car i looked for a Cd to put on and really couldn't find one to suit my mood so i listen to what ever was on the radio. It happened to be Dancing Queen by Abba. I listened to the words and couldn't help think that the lyrics "you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life, see that girl, watch her dance, checking the dancing queen" could mean me. If i stopped looking at all the negatives which have or have not happened yet and started to get on with the positive then i am never going to get better. I am never going to have the "time of my Life". So as we drove back home i thought how this could work. I then remembered that i had a call from the lady at the gym today. I have been on the phone a lot today. I explained to William when my induction is and where. I also explained the different ways we can pay. William was happy at this and well i think he is wondering whether i will in fact use the gym. But i am going to prove, him, everyone and last but no means least myself that i will use the gym, even if it will break me. Dam it i want to hit my goal, and i am going to hit it in the nuts and dance on its grave when it hit it before i have planed! Well i am gonna logg off now cos its 8:55pm and im starting to get tired, i dont want to feel that im married to my craft room as i seamed to spend more time in hear then with William lately. lol.
Nity Nite
Good morning!!
My God it is early! As i started to wake up this morning i noticed William was fully dressed and standing in front of me. Morning baby, he said in a nice wake up tone. he then however followed it with Take your tablets, like i had been a naught girl. He has decided that although i need to take responsibility for taking my tablets, at this time i don't think i have the will power to get of my fat backside and take them. So at request for a while William is going to wake me up every morning and not leave until i take the tablets. So as i sat up half asleep on the bed drinking my lemon water and taking my tablets i could see that William was happy. By the time i had finished William was almost ready to go to work. As i got dressed i kissed William good bye and then he was off. The time was only 8:30. For the past few weeks i have been getting up nearer to 11am then 8:30am. But you know what? it felt rather good. I know the tablets Tammy has asked me to take are good for me before i now feel alive. However this was great in itself but i found myself aching in my legs. you see after i had spoken to Tammy last night i had decided that i did in fact fancy swimming yet again with William. He was over the moon at this and so we hurried to have some dinner so that there was 1hr after eating before we went for our swim. I was feeling rather blue after mine and Tammy's chat so William took the reigns and made dinner. I didn't have a stir fry as i thought this would be too heavy for swimming so instead i had a large salad and pasta. Wheat free of course. It was very very yummy. however why is it that the bits you don't like so much on there own always end up at the bottom of the bowl? i found myself trying to force feed celery and spring onion, but they won and i couldn't eat anymore. Now normally i clean my bowl clean and everything i put in my salads all work well together and celery is nice eaten with lettuce and spring onions with beetroot. But as all of this had been eaten, so it was left in the bowl. William looked at me and asked if i had finished to which i relied yes. He then took my bowl into the kitchen with his and started to get the swim bags ready. Im really really lucky to have William right now. There have been times people would give up on me however he has stayed by me no matter what. I mean i know we are married but how much of a fat depressed lump like me can one person take? But now more! I am not going to let this overcome everything i have done so far. So i started to get dressed into my bathers to wear under my clothes.
As we got into the swimming pool there were lots of people all swimming. i quickly grabbed my floater board that i could hold in my hands so that the only way i was gonna swim would be to use my legs. So i started swimming. Now for a 24st lady i was not going to go very fast at all. I watched as people over took me in the slow lane but i didn't care. i just kept on swimming. 50m, i did it, now turn and repeat. i did this several times until i reached the 400m mark. William asked me how i was doing - as this time yesterday i could not do any more. I remembered what Tammy had said earlier about pushing myself further and so i left my floater with William decided to swim an extra 100m just swimming. So on my way down i felt my legs getting very very tired. My arms started to sting as i felt the muscles pulling but i didn't give up. On my way back up for the final 50m i could see William and he was watching me with a grin on his face. It was great. I had gone further then i thought i would but secretly wanted to do. as i got to the top i felt proud that i had achieved what i wanted. William asked if i want to do some more but by this point we had been in the pool for about 35mins and i was done. We left and changed and talked about how often we wanted to swim. Before we came into the pool we noticed there was an offer on for 10 swimming sessions for £25.00. If we had paid for 10 sessions then that would have been £31.50, so we were making a saving. So as we left we paid for the swimming. We have no where to hide now - this will be at least 2 weeks worth of swimming. that makes me very very happy.
So after the tasks of what we did last night and the fact i am up at a silly hour in my own time, yet not for others i have a plan of things i want to accomplish today.
1) finish Bruni's invitations for posting tomorrow.
2) cycle for 2 miles on the bike
3) 20 mins on the Wii playing Active
4) making dinner.
so until later, bye bye
As we got into the swimming pool there were lots of people all swimming. i quickly grabbed my floater board that i could hold in my hands so that the only way i was gonna swim would be to use my legs. So i started swimming. Now for a 24st lady i was not going to go very fast at all. I watched as people over took me in the slow lane but i didn't care. i just kept on swimming. 50m, i did it, now turn and repeat. i did this several times until i reached the 400m mark. William asked me how i was doing - as this time yesterday i could not do any more. I remembered what Tammy had said earlier about pushing myself further and so i left my floater with William decided to swim an extra 100m just swimming. So on my way down i felt my legs getting very very tired. My arms started to sting as i felt the muscles pulling but i didn't give up. On my way back up for the final 50m i could see William and he was watching me with a grin on his face. It was great. I had gone further then i thought i would but secretly wanted to do. as i got to the top i felt proud that i had achieved what i wanted. William asked if i want to do some more but by this point we had been in the pool for about 35mins and i was done. We left and changed and talked about how often we wanted to swim. Before we came into the pool we noticed there was an offer on for 10 swimming sessions for £25.00. If we had paid for 10 sessions then that would have been £31.50, so we were making a saving. So as we left we paid for the swimming. We have no where to hide now - this will be at least 2 weeks worth of swimming. that makes me very very happy.
So after the tasks of what we did last night and the fact i am up at a silly hour in my own time, yet not for others i have a plan of things i want to accomplish today.
1) finish Bruni's invitations for posting tomorrow.
2) cycle for 2 miles on the bike
3) 20 mins on the Wii playing Active
4) making dinner.
so until later, bye bye
The Talk with Tammy
well yesterday was always going to be full of emotions however i never expected it to go the way it did. When i woke up yesterday i decided to have some water like a good girl and then i have an extremely large bowl of berry fruit salad. It was very very yummy. After this is knuckled down and started to making the remaining 15 invitation cards for my friend Bruni. As i sat making them things could help but go round and round in my head. What would Tammy say to me, what will we do, what will happen. I tried several times to take my mind off of it but watching/listening to Glee. I also started listening to the Chris Moyles Show on play back on BBC radio 1. However as the time moved on i found myself floating in well anything. As i started to eat my soup i realized that time had moved on more then i thought and it was time to face the music. Tammy logged on skype. So with pen in one hand, the computer moved back on the desk and paper in front of me i made the call.
It went better then i thought. Tammy was stern with me. I've never seen her this way before. I loved it. Tammy gave me some home truths as well as being a very good friend. It was because of this i was able to be completely honest with her. The one thing that i can say helped the most was this blog. She had read everything. She was able to see for herself what i was really feeling. How i was thinking. This is more powerful then i thought. I have been thinking how this blog helps me release some of the thoughts which swirl around in my head and well its like a mobile storage devise. I take all the feelings i have that i can not express and place them here. After i don't feel so bogged down. Its great.
As our talk continued it became more and more real and intense. I didn't notice that since my youngest nephew was born i have been getting really really down. This has caused me to leave the run and hit the showers way way way before my time was up. Well not now. I am sick of the showers and i want hit the road again and go further then i have ever been. Tammy started to give me some power phrases which she said in passing however they were big enough for me to write them down. "crying is cleansing" "Push yourself further" and "work for things you want" So this got me thinking. Have i let my self cry lately over things i have done, our survey says NO. Have i pushed myself further or worked for things i wanted to achieve? again the answer is NO. As Tammy continued to talk i couldn't help to feel sorry for myself. So as i sat listening to Tammy i couldn't help having a little cry to myself. Tammy then must have noticed this and started talking in a more encouraging voice. She started saying this like, "be around for your 50th wedding anniversary", "get things in life i have always wanted, children" and "to realize what i have to offer the world." She told me that i was a blessing to her. Me a blessing? She explained that i have made an impact in her life and that i had a big heart and was very caring. I have never thought myself like this before. What i didn't say to her is that i felt the same. I was so taken back that i didn't let her know that i too felt the same way. In points in my life when i have been at my all time low i have been blessed with friends. Not any friends, true friends. Friends where you can really be who you are and not be the person you think you need to be. To mention a few Elaine and Chani-May. I met them after my first fiance Daniel decided to end our 5 year relation ship on the same day i lost my Job. I had no friends at that point and no job, so i started to work at a new place a few weeks later called IBM. Elaine and Chani showed me how much fun i could have without a partner and that life was good. It really was. The next person who is very special to me is William. I was in "depression state" i like to call it after having feelings for a guy who didn't know how to handle them. We were extremely good friends and he didn't want to change that. It was at this point i posted a wanted ad for helping the Homeless in Portsmouth. Something which is something close to my heart, thinking this would help me out of my low point. Then William replied. We met and well fell in love almost the same day. We spoke for hours and hours and i explained about everything that i was going through. Yet he stuck by me. He helped me, and still does to this day. As you may have noticed i married him 18months after meeting. He still helps me now. Only there is someone else who is now center stage in my top friend list and that is Tammy. When we met and i asked her for help, i had no idea that i would pass anything i had every expected. I have tried diet plans before, weight watchers, slimming world, cabbage soup, slim fast, the no eating during the day diet, only pasta and fish diet. No of them worked. Well within 4 weeks with Tammy i noticed changes within myself that i would never have thought possible. William tells me daily that every day i get better i am becoming more of the cat he married. (yes i did say cat, you see as a nickname he calls me hobbiticat. His nickname is Hobbit and has been for years and well me changed it so i was a hobbit as well. also I'm a crafter as well and another nickname is craft-cat. but that is when I'm in my craft room making pretty things.) This is all thanks to the work Tammy is doing with me.
As the call started to come to an end we spoke of what to do next and the answer was clear. DETOX STAGE 1 AGAIN. i knew this was coming so i was prepared. I had already used up everything i was not allowed to have over the weekend. So then came the final part of the call, setting my goals. So after everything we spoke about this is it:
1) Drink 2lts of Water and take my tablets daily
2) Go swimming twice this week
3) NO FAST FOOD OF ANY TYPE INCLUDING THINGS ALLOWED IN STAGE ONE
4) Cycle 2 miles per day on exercise bike
5) Stick to meal plan - no ifs or buts
6) Loose 5lbs this week
7) Remove all temptation from the house. ie:bread, tin soup, cake making stuff.
Well that was about it really. If you wanted to see what Tammy thought of the call you can also read her thoughts at http://tammy153.wordpress.com/
It went better then i thought. Tammy was stern with me. I've never seen her this way before. I loved it. Tammy gave me some home truths as well as being a very good friend. It was because of this i was able to be completely honest with her. The one thing that i can say helped the most was this blog. She had read everything. She was able to see for herself what i was really feeling. How i was thinking. This is more powerful then i thought. I have been thinking how this blog helps me release some of the thoughts which swirl around in my head and well its like a mobile storage devise. I take all the feelings i have that i can not express and place them here. After i don't feel so bogged down. Its great.
As our talk continued it became more and more real and intense. I didn't notice that since my youngest nephew was born i have been getting really really down. This has caused me to leave the run and hit the showers way way way before my time was up. Well not now. I am sick of the showers and i want hit the road again and go further then i have ever been. Tammy started to give me some power phrases which she said in passing however they were big enough for me to write them down. "crying is cleansing" "Push yourself further" and "work for things you want" So this got me thinking. Have i let my self cry lately over things i have done, our survey says NO. Have i pushed myself further or worked for things i wanted to achieve? again the answer is NO. As Tammy continued to talk i couldn't help to feel sorry for myself. So as i sat listening to Tammy i couldn't help having a little cry to myself. Tammy then must have noticed this and started talking in a more encouraging voice. She started saying this like, "be around for your 50th wedding anniversary", "get things in life i have always wanted, children" and "to realize what i have to offer the world." She told me that i was a blessing to her. Me a blessing? She explained that i have made an impact in her life and that i had a big heart and was very caring. I have never thought myself like this before. What i didn't say to her is that i felt the same. I was so taken back that i didn't let her know that i too felt the same way. In points in my life when i have been at my all time low i have been blessed with friends. Not any friends, true friends. Friends where you can really be who you are and not be the person you think you need to be. To mention a few Elaine and Chani-May. I met them after my first fiance Daniel decided to end our 5 year relation ship on the same day i lost my Job. I had no friends at that point and no job, so i started to work at a new place a few weeks later called IBM. Elaine and Chani showed me how much fun i could have without a partner and that life was good. It really was. The next person who is very special to me is William. I was in "depression state" i like to call it after having feelings for a guy who didn't know how to handle them. We were extremely good friends and he didn't want to change that. It was at this point i posted a wanted ad for helping the Homeless in Portsmouth. Something which is something close to my heart, thinking this would help me out of my low point. Then William replied. We met and well fell in love almost the same day. We spoke for hours and hours and i explained about everything that i was going through. Yet he stuck by me. He helped me, and still does to this day. As you may have noticed i married him 18months after meeting. He still helps me now. Only there is someone else who is now center stage in my top friend list and that is Tammy. When we met and i asked her for help, i had no idea that i would pass anything i had every expected. I have tried diet plans before, weight watchers, slimming world, cabbage soup, slim fast, the no eating during the day diet, only pasta and fish diet. No of them worked. Well within 4 weeks with Tammy i noticed changes within myself that i would never have thought possible. William tells me daily that every day i get better i am becoming more of the cat he married. (yes i did say cat, you see as a nickname he calls me hobbiticat. His nickname is Hobbit and has been for years and well me changed it so i was a hobbit as well. also I'm a crafter as well and another nickname is craft-cat. but that is when I'm in my craft room making pretty things.) This is all thanks to the work Tammy is doing with me.
As the call started to come to an end we spoke of what to do next and the answer was clear. DETOX STAGE 1 AGAIN. i knew this was coming so i was prepared. I had already used up everything i was not allowed to have over the weekend. So then came the final part of the call, setting my goals. So after everything we spoke about this is it:
1) Drink 2lts of Water and take my tablets daily
2) Go swimming twice this week
3) NO FAST FOOD OF ANY TYPE INCLUDING THINGS ALLOWED IN STAGE ONE
4) Cycle 2 miles per day on exercise bike
5) Stick to meal plan - no ifs or buts
6) Loose 5lbs this week
7) Remove all temptation from the house. ie:bread, tin soup, cake making stuff.
Well that was about it really. If you wanted to see what Tammy thought of the call you can also read her thoughts at http://tammy153.wordpress.com/
Sunday 28 March 2010
I ache all over
Well hello all again. Well i have been swimming. Something that was on my to do list since yesterday. and well what can i say about the new 50m pool? well i think it is fantastic! i had sooooo much fun! well all in all in 30 mins i swam about 400m. Not bad i hear you say? well for me that is terrible. after only doing that short distance i left the pool with my head in shame as an elderly couple were still going strong in the water. I could not bring my arms to do any more in the water today. Though it is interesting that the changing area is unisex. This meant both me and William found a big enough cubical where we both got dressed together. It was funny after we were in the car as both myself and will were giving ourselves pat on the bad for such a good swimming session. You know the kinda talk you have with a stranger. I have to admit though i kinda loved it. As we were pulling into our house we saw coco at the living room window. she started barking and we could hear her as we got closer to the door. i was so hungry that i had my chicken and a small salad. it was very very nice and so quick and easy as everything was done. William on the other hand did not want to have the liver and bacon i had cooked him before we went out. I was not happy at this, however to make it up he decided to have some of the tone of soup i had also made instead. He has assured me that he will indeed eat the liver i had cooked tomorrow, so it looks like im on the diet plan on my own tomorrow. I dont mind really as everything is all sorted, i only have to prepare and cook it. Its great having a meal plan ready.
Well its 10:44pm and im sleepy. Ive done so much today and well i need my sleep as tomorrow i start to get up early. After having water i intend to use the Wii active sports program and get this saggy fat body moving.
untill tomorrow, nity nite.
PS: i didnt do the hoover - thats the top of my list for tomorrow.
Well its 10:44pm and im sleepy. Ive done so much today and well i need my sleep as tomorrow i start to get up early. After having water i intend to use the Wii active sports program and get this saggy fat body moving.
untill tomorrow, nity nite.
PS: i didnt do the hoover - thats the top of my list for tomorrow.
Sunday, sunday, sunday...................
Its becoming quite a busy day today. My to do list is no where near finished however i needed a break from my head and thought i should unwind in a simple yet long blog. So today i have so far manged to make up several bottles of water with lemon in them and neatly placed them in the fridge. I have made the biggest fruit salad in the world (in my world that is) and placed that in the fridge also. I have also made a wonderful yet very plan tasting crust-less quiche and had that for lunch with a salad. (im such a good girl for sticking to my meal plan) i have also made a very interesting soup. When cleaning out the fridge of veg which has passed it sell by date i noticed that i could make a soup so i decided to go ahead. So with stick pot one side of me the chopping board in front and a knife in the hand i got to work. So in went potatoes, parsnips and spinach. Add in some stock and some curry powder and hey bingo boil until veg soft. Then release the anger on the blender and blend until smooth. I can honestly say i was not holding out much for this mess until i tasted it. It may look like someone has thrown it up but it taste's divine. so for the next few days this will be my soup of choice.
Whilst writting that william has just come up the stairs to find me. looking at me with a sad look in his eye he has asked me to hoover. I replied that i will do it however im not sure i can really put it off for much longer. He is downstairs at the moment completing the washing up, again. He had finished it this morning however since i decided to go on a cooking whim he has found himeself clumbing a ladder to the finish however he is not moving anywhere. I love him for it, dont get me wrong but sometimes i wish he would have more faith in me.
Anyhow back to my sunday. Well we phoned the swiming pool near us and asked what the swimming times would be and they gave us everything we wanted. We have a new 50m pool which was opened not to long ago near us and decided that we should give it a try. Normally we travel to waterloovile however we really can not be bothered today. and well the lure of a 50m pool is quiet challenging. Would be good to let down some swimming. Earlier on william asked me if i wanted to try on a new pair of bathers i had brought. I got them back in jan in the sale and well have been really unsure if they would look good on me. you see they are bright red. Think the Special K advert and that is what i have. When i tried them on to my shock i found that they were a perfect fit if not a little big. They are so comfy that im gonna wear them today when i go swimming. We are going to an adults only session. i am so worried about children making fun of me that i dont want to go any other time. When i was modling the costume i asked william if he would take pictures of me, something i have been meaning to do for a while. Well on looking at them it has made me even more determind to loose that 5lb this week. I know i have lost weight and am now smaller then when i started, but all i see if fat fat fat. I can not go on like this so this is my motivation. Im gonna print off the pictures later and have them everywhere in my house. i think that might work.
We went out shopping to get some kabab sticks for dinner however couldnt find any, so instead i managed to find chicken breast with a fiheater coating, so instead this is what im having. everything else will stay the same. Well thats what i think, or thought anyway. Since cutting everything back yesterday and also today i have been suffering really really badly with lack of sugar. no matter however i crave it and ate fruit in its place it didnt go away. So as a treat i shared a small choclate bar with william. I felt really good after eating it. Then it hit me, God that was CHOCOLATE!!!!! Im not going to punish myself. the craving has now gone so i will not think of it again. Well i really hope tammy is reading this cos i hate to tell her tomorrow. i have already sent her the "email" as per my previous post. I'm thinking if everything i do is now public i am less likly to stray again. Well thats what i think in my little head anyhows.
Well its 5:41pm and we are swimming at 8pm and i have still lots to do so i think ill say goodbye now.
until later
bye bye xx
Whilst writting that william has just come up the stairs to find me. looking at me with a sad look in his eye he has asked me to hoover. I replied that i will do it however im not sure i can really put it off for much longer. He is downstairs at the moment completing the washing up, again. He had finished it this morning however since i decided to go on a cooking whim he has found himeself clumbing a ladder to the finish however he is not moving anywhere. I love him for it, dont get me wrong but sometimes i wish he would have more faith in me.
Anyhow back to my sunday. Well we phoned the swiming pool near us and asked what the swimming times would be and they gave us everything we wanted. We have a new 50m pool which was opened not to long ago near us and decided that we should give it a try. Normally we travel to waterloovile however we really can not be bothered today. and well the lure of a 50m pool is quiet challenging. Would be good to let down some swimming. Earlier on william asked me if i wanted to try on a new pair of bathers i had brought. I got them back in jan in the sale and well have been really unsure if they would look good on me. you see they are bright red. Think the Special K advert and that is what i have. When i tried them on to my shock i found that they were a perfect fit if not a little big. They are so comfy that im gonna wear them today when i go swimming. We are going to an adults only session. i am so worried about children making fun of me that i dont want to go any other time. When i was modling the costume i asked william if he would take pictures of me, something i have been meaning to do for a while. Well on looking at them it has made me even more determind to loose that 5lb this week. I know i have lost weight and am now smaller then when i started, but all i see if fat fat fat. I can not go on like this so this is my motivation. Im gonna print off the pictures later and have them everywhere in my house. i think that might work.
We went out shopping to get some kabab sticks for dinner however couldnt find any, so instead i managed to find chicken breast with a fiheater coating, so instead this is what im having. everything else will stay the same. Well thats what i think, or thought anyway. Since cutting everything back yesterday and also today i have been suffering really really badly with lack of sugar. no matter however i crave it and ate fruit in its place it didnt go away. So as a treat i shared a small choclate bar with william. I felt really good after eating it. Then it hit me, God that was CHOCOLATE!!!!! Im not going to punish myself. the craving has now gone so i will not think of it again. Well i really hope tammy is reading this cos i hate to tell her tomorrow. i have already sent her the "email" as per my previous post. I'm thinking if everything i do is now public i am less likly to stray again. Well thats what i think in my little head anyhows.
Well its 5:41pm and we are swimming at 8pm and i have still lots to do so i think ill say goodbye now.
until later
bye bye xx
Meal Plan for the week
| | breakfast | lunch | dinner |
| Sunday | Water & Tablets Fruit Soup | Water Crust less Quiche & Salad | Water Chicken Kebabs and Salad |
| Monday | Water & Tablets Fruit Soup | Water Crust less Quiche & Salad | Water Prawn Stir fry and Salad |
| Tuesday | Water & Tablets Fruit Soup | Water Veg Pasta and Salad | Water Veg Pasta and Salad |
| Wednesday | Water & Tablets Fruit Soup | Water Veg Pasta and Salad | Water Chicken and warm Veg |
| Thursday | Water & Tablets Fruit Soup | Water Turky Chili and Salad | Water Turkey Chilli and salad |
| Friday | Water & Tablets Fruit Soup | Water Tuna salad | Water Pasta Salad |
| Saturday | Water & Tablets Fruit Soup | Water Pasta Salad | Water Chicken Salad |
*snacks – Carrot Sticks and Red Pepper Sticks
* Water 2ltrs per day, all water to be drunk 30mins before food or after except morning when 1hr before.
*fruit to be eaten 1hr after water, and soup 2hrs after fruit.
My Email to Tammy - nothing is hidden now
Hey tammy
this is a very hard email i have to write however i need ot to it. This week has not gone as easy as i thought. Instead of following all the guidlines you set out for me i chose to ignor all of them in favour of my own diet plan. This in its self has proven to be rubbish. You know i said that i was feeling a bit blah? well im still feeling that way. However this week it got so bad that i didnt drink water, only having about 1-2 glasses a day, i didnt eat healtly opting more for the chips i had brought william thinking i would not eat them and i did not have my tablets. All in all a very very bad and dark week for me. At this cost i put on 4lbs. I know what i have done wrong and this is what i need to get me going again. So this time william came round with me and was very harsh when i was putting things in the shopping strolly on our weekly shop. We did stock up on lots of chicken and put the pork back on the shelf.
So i have started back on track again yesterday having several salads and also lots and lost of water. Today i started off with 500ml water with lemon, whilst drinking this i have made a very extra large bowl of fruit salad. Ive taken my tablets and the chicken is defrosting as we speak for dinner. We have made 3 bottles of citrus water and in the fridge ready for when i need them today.
I finalled signed up for the gym and paid the fee for induction. i am just waiting for the instructor to call me so i can have my work out plan made. Im also going swimming today after i have finished the housework.
im in the middle of working out a food plan for this week and when i have finished i will email you a copy.
anyhow i need to you start getting strong and tough for me. Im getting weeker and i need you to slap me when i do things wrongs. I need to have the tough love now for a little while. William is also doing the same. he has taken away my bank cards from me, as when i go out i have been to the local cake shop and well sometimes i am tempted by there range of lovly chicken and salad sandwiches.
Ive let you down and i have let myself down big time but im not gonna let this get the better of me. Ive come to far to trow the towel in now and im gonna work my dam hardest to loose at least 5lb this week. Thats my goal and im sticking to it.
anyhow i need to go i have things to finish. ill give you all details this week when we talk tomorrow.
big huggs tammy
louise xx
this is a very hard email i have to write however i need ot to it. This week has not gone as easy as i thought. Instead of following all the guidlines you set out for me i chose to ignor all of them in favour of my own diet plan. This in its self has proven to be rubbish. You know i said that i was feeling a bit blah? well im still feeling that way. However this week it got so bad that i didnt drink water, only having about 1-2 glasses a day, i didnt eat healtly opting more for the chips i had brought william thinking i would not eat them and i did not have my tablets. All in all a very very bad and dark week for me. At this cost i put on 4lbs. I know what i have done wrong and this is what i need to get me going again. So this time william came round with me and was very harsh when i was putting things in the shopping strolly on our weekly shop. We did stock up on lots of chicken and put the pork back on the shelf.
So i have started back on track again yesterday having several salads and also lots and lost of water. Today i started off with 500ml water with lemon, whilst drinking this i have made a very extra large bowl of fruit salad. Ive taken my tablets and the chicken is defrosting as we speak for dinner. We have made 3 bottles of citrus water and in the fridge ready for when i need them today.
I finalled signed up for the gym and paid the fee for induction. i am just waiting for the instructor to call me so i can have my work out plan made. Im also going swimming today after i have finished the housework.
im in the middle of working out a food plan for this week and when i have finished i will email you a copy.
anyhow i need to you start getting strong and tough for me. Im getting weeker and i need you to slap me when i do things wrongs. I need to have the tough love now for a little while. William is also doing the same. he has taken away my bank cards from me, as when i go out i have been to the local cake shop and well sometimes i am tempted by there range of lovly chicken and salad sandwiches.
Ive let you down and i have let myself down big time but im not gonna let this get the better of me. Ive come to far to trow the towel in now and im gonna work my dam hardest to loose at least 5lb this week. Thats my goal and im sticking to it.
anyhow i need to go i have things to finish. ill give you all details this week when we talk tomorrow.
big huggs tammy
louise xx
Hang the Head in Shame
I think the title says it all. I put on weight. I'm sorry! but im not gonna let this get me down! I managed to put on a staggering 4lbs this week and i know where its gone. The fat backside i'm sitting on. instead of being productive this week i managed to convince myself to do nothing and well with that and the unhealthy eating this week it is no wonder that i put on weight. Why oh why do i get myself in these situations? i go from week to week and eat the same and now i manage to put on this week. Well i know one thing i will not be eating, and that is CHIPS! what started out as a small plat when i cooked William liver during the week ended up being the main content of several of my meals this week. I really have no self control at all. What happened to the restraint i used to have. Well this is no more. Chip are therefore BANNED from this house! So to start the week of right after the dredfull weigh in yesterday morning instead of having a cooked breakfast which seamed to have managed to creep back in as a treat i had a salad. As by the time we have finished our weekly shop it was about 11am. So as William sat in front of me eating his eggs, bacon and beans with a round of toast and coffee, i sat happily crying into my breakfast of salad, cucumber and tomatoes. Now thats really a lie, i wasn't crying on the outside but i was rocking back and forth screaming in my head why, oh why, oh why...............
Well after this i made sure that the water was to hand. I know full well for a fact that i had not drink the required amount of water as i didn't have to get any this week. you see on the diet im only allowed spring water. this is because it has special min and vits that my body needs. well yesterday i felt really go, in fact i felt on top of the world. i went out with my nan and william shopping so there was plenty of walking going on. when it came to lunch time that was an easy choice salad. So whilst watching my nan eat a ham and cheese toasty with chips and William sitting in front of me eating his chips, ham and eggs i yet again kept saying in my head why oh why oh why.......... But if i am honest i loved the salad. we went to this place in Havant called Boswells and the salad in there was very very tasty. I had to wait a bit as i didn't want my tuna to have mayo (I'm learning)
when i got home it was about 4pm and we decided to take our dog coco for a run on top of portsdown hill. when we got up there we noticed there was a dog attached to a lead and running free however we couldnt see the owner. it caught our attention becuase of a driver trying to leave the parking place however was not leaving at the same time if you know what i mean. As we were getting coco out of the car the lady emerged from the car, she was i would say in her 50's. Normally she has the ball and trows it in her car for the dog to follow. however the dog this time was too quick and well hence a loose doggy on top the hill. she didnt know what to do. so we got one of cocos balls out of the car and tried to intise this doggy called missy over to us so we could get hold of her. This got her attention however she was not coming near us, in the end i said to william to release coco and see if that would work and it did. coco came bounding out of the car, this was enough for missy to drop her ball, run over to us and for her own owner to run over and get missys ball that she had dropped. On seeing this missy then went over to her owner as if nothing had happened and jumped in the car as if to say "i have had my play can we go home". this made me laugh so much that i had to turn away. We found out the lady had been trying to get the dog in the car for nearly 30mins. now considering that there were several people in cars on the hill you would have thought people would have noticed that this poor woman was having trouble catching the dog, but no. Lucky for her we arrived. She said many thak yous and drove away. When on the hill after this we released that coco may be a menice to well evryone however she would always come to us when we call, so really we do not mind.
After managing this play time we came home and i started to play on the Wii. It was fun however as time passed i was feeling ungry so william trying to help me decided to go and make dinner. I really fancied rice and veg. So that is what i had, again i was crying in my head as all i could think about was having a very large portion of veg chow main however if this is gonna work i need to be strong. So i sat there eating my new food. I promised myself that i am gonna work extremly hard and well thats what im gonna do.
Well after this i made sure that the water was to hand. I know full well for a fact that i had not drink the required amount of water as i didn't have to get any this week. you see on the diet im only allowed spring water. this is because it has special min and vits that my body needs. well yesterday i felt really go, in fact i felt on top of the world. i went out with my nan and william shopping so there was plenty of walking going on. when it came to lunch time that was an easy choice salad. So whilst watching my nan eat a ham and cheese toasty with chips and William sitting in front of me eating his chips, ham and eggs i yet again kept saying in my head why oh why oh why.......... But if i am honest i loved the salad. we went to this place in Havant called Boswells and the salad in there was very very tasty. I had to wait a bit as i didn't want my tuna to have mayo (I'm learning)
when i got home it was about 4pm and we decided to take our dog coco for a run on top of portsdown hill. when we got up there we noticed there was a dog attached to a lead and running free however we couldnt see the owner. it caught our attention becuase of a driver trying to leave the parking place however was not leaving at the same time if you know what i mean. As we were getting coco out of the car the lady emerged from the car, she was i would say in her 50's. Normally she has the ball and trows it in her car for the dog to follow. however the dog this time was too quick and well hence a loose doggy on top the hill. she didnt know what to do. so we got one of cocos balls out of the car and tried to intise this doggy called missy over to us so we could get hold of her. This got her attention however she was not coming near us, in the end i said to william to release coco and see if that would work and it did. coco came bounding out of the car, this was enough for missy to drop her ball, run over to us and for her own owner to run over and get missys ball that she had dropped. On seeing this missy then went over to her owner as if nothing had happened and jumped in the car as if to say "i have had my play can we go home". this made me laugh so much that i had to turn away. We found out the lady had been trying to get the dog in the car for nearly 30mins. now considering that there were several people in cars on the hill you would have thought people would have noticed that this poor woman was having trouble catching the dog, but no. Lucky for her we arrived. She said many thak yous and drove away. When on the hill after this we released that coco may be a menice to well evryone however she would always come to us when we call, so really we do not mind.
After managing this play time we came home and i started to play on the Wii. It was fun however as time passed i was feeling ungry so william trying to help me decided to go and make dinner. I really fancied rice and veg. So that is what i had, again i was crying in my head as all i could think about was having a very large portion of veg chow main however if this is gonna work i need to be strong. So i sat there eating my new food. I promised myself that i am gonna work extremly hard and well thats what im gonna do.
Friday 26 March 2010
The Tables are turning
Well what a day i have had today. William went to work today so couldn't do the usual of getting weighed this morning so we are leaving that for tomorrow morning. I have so much to do tomorrow before i pick up my nan it is untrue however never mind i'm gonna get it done. Well after William came back from work today we popped up to Ikea to "look" at my request a new desk for me. You see when im not cooking or cleaning i love to make cards and well my desk is way to small. So we went up and well managed to buy a desk. I really only wanted to look "wink wink" however William i think knew deep down that looking really means to get. Well i think i must have burned soooooo many calories as im not sure if anyone knows what an Ikea is like but why oh why is the door the furthest away from the main section possible? well in Southampton which is my local store it is even on a different floor to the entrance! well getting the desk into the card was a new saga. You see william has a very short temper and well lets say there were more words coming out of his mouth that contained only four letters then i think you could possibly imagine. I mean it took us only 5mins to droop the seats in the car and fit the flat pack desk in, though for william it was more like we were trying to put 14 people in the back of the car. I have to admit this did not make me feel very good. in fact i felt really really rubbish. No matter what i said or tried to say all afternoon william has been in a bad mood. Breaking only for a matter of 15 mins when we were at home and the desk was built. I love him to bits but when he gets angry he really gets angry and its sad. After the events of today all sense of what was right and wrong when it came to my diet plan when completly out of the window. I leaned on comfort food and thats bad. I know i shouldnt do it however my head was telling me horrid things. One thing is for sure that im glad it is weigh in tomorrow because maybe this is the kick in the teeth that i really need. I need, no scrap that, I MUST have more self controll. William is helping me in everything and without his support i couldnt have come this far. I only wish that i could help him the way he has helped me. Ah well must logg off now, need to make a food chart for next week. Ill post it on here if i know how.
nitey nite bloggers xx
nitey nite bloggers xx
Good Morning
Hello All,
Well what can i say. This is me, and my Blog. Well if you have read about me then you know my aim. I started this journey in 2009, 26th of august to be the date. Well today it is 26th March 2010 and i am 7 months into my weight loss journey. To date i have only lost 2stone 12lbs, making that 40lbs in total. That to me is rubbish! However we have had several birthdays, Xmas and now we have the dreaded Easter! OMG seeing eggs on the shop shelves is so tempting.
Well i thought about setting this blog so i could let people know what im feeling. Also Tammy so she can see what goes on during the week. You see me and Tammy met through a good friend our ours. She lives in Canada and you can find her blog here: http://tammy153.wordpress.com/. Its always good to hear two sides of the story.
Well what week have i had? not a good one. You see although i've been at home after my weekend away i seamed to have been suffering a lot lately with sleepiness. I tend to go to bed about 11pm with my husband william, and the sleeping untill the same time. I dont know whats wrong, though i do know it is broken sleep. Becuase of this im still feeling Blah. I have done nothing i said i was gonna do this week. At one point i thought i was ok on wednesday however this provided to be the undooing of me on thursday, yesterday. Do you ever get the feeling that your floating in a sea of pretty much everything and you just want to carry on floating? Well thats how im feeling. I can not get some get up and go. Everything is out the window. I have been so bad this week at everything. Water is one of them. the more i sleep the less i drink, so my chanllege for today is to drink as much as i can. I know one of the reasons why im sleepy is lack of water. But even if you hit my head with a great big bottle of water demanding me to drink does mean i will. That is my problem. WATER. dam, it used to be so easy to drink but for some reason i can not seam to drink this wonder medicen which keeps us all going. As for food well i've been doing better. After my lovley food this weekend i really think i over did it a bit. I went out to dinner with William this week and had chicken, it was a couple of nights ago now. We had a wonderfully meal however, i missed up the plan. You sea all i had to eat that day was 6 netriens. so on a tummy of only fruit i gorged myself on chips, corn and chicken. It was lovley however i couldnt help to feel guilty after. Dam what is with the guilt? i mean i made the choice of having some no-no's so i have to live with it. Well ive been to my word and so on Wednesday i had lots of veg and soup and yesterday i had lost of fruit salad and lots of salad. Oh man what am i gonna do when i get on the scales tomorrow? Oh well time to make a change i think. Yesterday i finally signed up for the gym i have been meaning to do since jan. I paid my fees and now waiting for a date for my induction. I need to get into it, and well as have something else to do during the day. This year is about me and its time to get of my fat backside and do it. So on that note i need to go and get some stuff done round the house. Extra calories to be burnt doing housework you know. (well thats what im hoping for the weigh in tomorrow!)
luv ya xx
Well what can i say. This is me, and my Blog. Well if you have read about me then you know my aim. I started this journey in 2009, 26th of august to be the date. Well today it is 26th March 2010 and i am 7 months into my weight loss journey. To date i have only lost 2stone 12lbs, making that 40lbs in total. That to me is rubbish! However we have had several birthdays, Xmas and now we have the dreaded Easter! OMG seeing eggs on the shop shelves is so tempting.
Well i thought about setting this blog so i could let people know what im feeling. Also Tammy so she can see what goes on during the week. You see me and Tammy met through a good friend our ours. She lives in Canada and you can find her blog here: http://tammy153.wordpress.com/. Its always good to hear two sides of the story.
Well what week have i had? not a good one. You see although i've been at home after my weekend away i seamed to have been suffering a lot lately with sleepiness. I tend to go to bed about 11pm with my husband william, and the sleeping untill the same time. I dont know whats wrong, though i do know it is broken sleep. Becuase of this im still feeling Blah. I have done nothing i said i was gonna do this week. At one point i thought i was ok on wednesday however this provided to be the undooing of me on thursday, yesterday. Do you ever get the feeling that your floating in a sea of pretty much everything and you just want to carry on floating? Well thats how im feeling. I can not get some get up and go. Everything is out the window. I have been so bad this week at everything. Water is one of them. the more i sleep the less i drink, so my chanllege for today is to drink as much as i can. I know one of the reasons why im sleepy is lack of water. But even if you hit my head with a great big bottle of water demanding me to drink does mean i will. That is my problem. WATER. dam, it used to be so easy to drink but for some reason i can not seam to drink this wonder medicen which keeps us all going. As for food well i've been doing better. After my lovley food this weekend i really think i over did it a bit. I went out to dinner with William this week and had chicken, it was a couple of nights ago now. We had a wonderfully meal however, i missed up the plan. You sea all i had to eat that day was 6 netriens. so on a tummy of only fruit i gorged myself on chips, corn and chicken. It was lovley however i couldnt help to feel guilty after. Dam what is with the guilt? i mean i made the choice of having some no-no's so i have to live with it. Well ive been to my word and so on Wednesday i had lots of veg and soup and yesterday i had lost of fruit salad and lots of salad. Oh man what am i gonna do when i get on the scales tomorrow? Oh well time to make a change i think. Yesterday i finally signed up for the gym i have been meaning to do since jan. I paid my fees and now waiting for a date for my induction. I need to get into it, and well as have something else to do during the day. This year is about me and its time to get of my fat backside and do it. So on that note i need to go and get some stuff done round the house. Extra calories to be burnt doing housework you know. (well thats what im hoping for the weigh in tomorrow!)
luv ya xx
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