Welcome home Louise!!!!!!!!

Hello all,

Sorry for the time I have been away things have got the better of me. So looking to a new future I find myself back on this blog thingy.

So what has been happening to me in short. Well I have started working in the local community centre on a summer project for children. What I thought would only be a few hours a week has turned into nearly 27hrs per week work. Some may gasp at this however I enjoy what I am doing so I do not tend to notice the time I put in. This has since cause me to fall from the diet path and not really take notice of my body. Now I don't mean that I have put on a shed load of weight, it is just that I have not been feeding at the right times, or the right things. ICE CREAM is now officially banned from these lips. Well ice lolly's have not. I will come onto that soon.

My older sister has moved back to Portsmouth which means I once again get to be near my nephew. Something I truly am looking forward to.

So, let me get back to how my weight loss is going on. Well to be honest it really has not. I was speaking with my husband and well I need to start and take care of myself. So on my own this morning I came up with a plan. So sat in my kitchen, whilst cooking carrot, sweet potato and butternut squash soup I argued with the computer to create a meal plan. A BINDING CONTRACT between me and food. one which under no circumstances would I break. Dramatic I know. But I am that naughty school girl in the back of the room and I DO need to be told. So as I finalised the plan I sent it to Tammy.

As Tammy came on skype today at our agreed time I get a short email, can you save the document in a earlier format please. D'oh I thought. After the blood sweat and tears from my previous attempt I now had to save again. So as I chucked to myself I was trying to find a whitty comment to say to Tammy about her old style PC but I couldn't. And my this time she had logged onto skype and ready to chat.

I started how I wanted to go on the phone. I started positive. I was a woman on a mission and I had a plan. Tammy being Tammy was FANTASTIC! I love how no matter what she is supportive. So as both of us were watching flames come from our pens as we frantically wrote down what we were going to do over the next two weeks, I started to feel even more positive then when I first started the call. You see since the last time I blogged my heart has not been into anything Diet related. but you see the bar has now been raised. COMPETITION! yes that right COMPETITION. Between me and my family. Well in less then 8 month I will be a bridesmaid for my sisters wedding. The reason why I started to work with Tammy in the first place. Yes things has come and gone, but the more things that happen the soon the day get to me. Yes I have completed my first goal, being able to walk. However my existing goal is far from over. So to sum up our call it was setting the new goal posts and no matter what it takes i'm getting to them.

So as I said my goodbyes to Tammy I started to real off my hundred of goals for this week. Only joking but i did recall everything I was going to do over the next 2 weeks. so hear we go.

1. Write Blog daily
2. Send email to Tammy every day on what food I have eaten.
3. Follow meal plan set up as below.
4. Walk before or after food at lunch time when working in community centre.
5. DRINK WATER and have tablets.
6. Write a life Priority list, have a must and and needs list.
7. in three weeks to loose 10lbs. That's 3.33lbs per week average.

So folks that's it for today, until tomorrow. Bye Bye

Yesterday

Here is a sum up of what i did yesterday:

Wednesday:

7:30am - 500ml water & tablets
8:20am - 3 apples
9:30am - 1hr of toning class
10:30am - 500ml water
10:45am - GYM (target heart rate 125-145bpm)

* walker 3k for 40:34sec, heart rate 137
* cycle machine for 10mins, cycled 5.78k, heart rate 131
* water drunk 500ml during hour


11:45am - 500ml water
12:15pm - 3 eggs scrambled with red pepper and spring onion
1:40pm - 250ml water
15:00pm - Chicken salad
15:30pm - 250ml water drunk
16:00pm - carrot sticks
16:30pm - slept as had a massive head ache
19:30pm - 500ml water
20:30pm - Tuna Salad

The day before weigh in

Hello all,

Well today has been a very easy day for me. After yesterday and all the exercising that i did i was feeling really good this morning. However not long after i had taken my tablets did i feel very very unwell. Now normally i have room temp water but this morning it was ice cold. This then carried on for the rest of the day as i struggled to keep food in me. However the up side was i was taking on water. So nothing really exciting happened to me. Its a shame as i did so well at the gym yesterday. I did it. I walked 3k in one hit. It was the most fab feeling in the world. After doing the toning class in the morning beofre i think i really warmed up well to hit the time as well. now i have to go to sleep so this really is a short one. but i know i have been eating and drinking more since Tammy Told me to start writing things down. Weather this will help me i dont know. I only started this on tuesday, now have i already shot myself in the foot with the days beofre of not eating or drinking so much? I really hope not. But as God as my witness, and with william being away i need to fend for myself and step up to the mark and keep this detox into shape. So as you can see from my prev post i have created myself a plan for next week. Ahhhhh 4ltrs of water a day? can i do it? we shall see.

So untill tomorrow my little fairy's, nite nite

PS: here is the summary of what i have done today

6:45am - 500ml water with tablets
8:30am - 3 apples
9:30am - 500ml water
11:30am - 3 eggs scrambled with red pepper & spring onion
12:45pm - 500ml water
14:30pm - half a pasta salad (couldn't eat as feeling sick)
15:00pm - 500ml water
15:30pm - sleep as had a head ache
18:30pm - 500ml water
20:00pm - plain salad
21:00pm - 250ml water
22:15pm - 250ml water

My Weekly plan

Anger

Hello peeps. Well i have just finished writing the blog for the last few days and well i wanted to touch on the subject of Anger. Now yesterday night when William came home, which was at 7:30pm, i was a little upset. Well i wanted to go swimimng and well he didn't. Now on Sat this week he flies to Las Vegas for a week for work. I am really upset that i couldn't go with him. You see i could have got Tammy to meet me there for the weekend and well really had fun. But the flights were toooo expensive and well we couldnt really afford that, money for me for food and well the money to put the doggy in the kennels. Also i don't think i would fit in with the "exc wives" just yet. So as i was saying, this row we had. It was very very silly. It all boiled down to i thought William wasn't make any time for me this week. It rattled me so much so that i couldn't even cry about it. I wasn't upset but i was just simply angry. It got to the point where i was 110% pure evil to William. I really should not have been so angry at him. It is not his fault. It was nearly all my doing last night, he was just the person in the receiving end. I was feeling soooo bad for myself about how i was treating him that i couldn't even be in the same room as him. And yet i found that i couldn't tell him this. Why do i always get like this when i can not get what i want. I realise that sometimes i can not controll how i feel, and yet William stands by me no matter what. William if your reading this, and i know you will at some point. I want to tell you that i am, truly sorry for the way i treated you. It was not right and i did not mean to hurt you as i did. Your the missing part of my life and i really would be lost if i didnt have you with me, side by side for the rest of my waking days. In the words of Scott Miles on radio one "you complete me". I love you sweety and i'm sorry. Forgive me?

Sorry for the delay - i've been busy

Hello peeping world, well what a very packed time i have been having. I think today just need a summary so here goes:

Saturday:
Didn't wake up until 8am, tried to get things done then went back to bed to have cuddles with William. Took doggy for a run and went round the shops for a bit, then ended up in the garden pulling weeds and planting some new plants in my hanging baskets. Ended the day by having a mamouth Zelda session but we finally are nearly there. Almost that is, lol.

Sunday:
Woke up nice and early and well we went to Gunwarf Queys and looked in the shops. Had a nosey in the card shop and also Paperchase and it was great. Ended up getting back home late. We took doggy for another run up the hill and then we went out to dinner with my mum and sister, and also baby James. After dinner (which was a meatless roast with no gravy) we went back to my mums house where i had an extra long (nearly 2hr) cuddle with James, and also bathed him. Now i have never, Ever bathed a baby before in my life. I know that is bad considering i have 2 nephews and a neice but i have never been asked if i would like to bath them, only when they are sitting up in a bath is when i get involved. So on one side of me i have my sister, and the other my mum. Now this was annoying. My sister was telling me the way she has been taught from the hospital, and my mum, well the way she always had done it. In the end because of James Prem status and how small he was i chose Rebecca's way. Now this was funny because you basically hold him like your weighing a sack of potato's in the supermarket. Or another way like your holding a tray. Now when i got him out of the bath Rebecca said to raise him up and down to get rid of the drips. What she failed to tell me was that he would stretch out at this point. This then scared me so my only reaction was to grip tightly on his tiny body (all 5lb 11oz) and squeeze him close to my chest in fear of falling. This then humored my sister who was waiting with a towel as she said whilst chuckling "i forgot to tell you he does that). I was not happy.

Monday:
Bad start to the day. After all the walking i did yesterday i managed to hurt my ankel so i couldnt do the work i wanted to at the gym. Instead i did 10 mins walking and 30 mins on the cycle machine. I was feeling really bad at this point however i couldnt really push myself so i had to rest. Then the talk from Tammy came at 4pm.

Right i have to make a correction to what was said in my last blog when i spoke to Tammy. If i fail on stage one, we will NOT go onto stage 2. We will take a rest and then start over again. Not the other way which i had said. So how am i doing she asks. The first thing i could think of was i only lost 1lb and how upset i was about this, and also at the lack of work i did at the gym in the morning. Tammy listened while i went on for ages it seamed and then gave me so very sound advice. Tammy is great like that. Always knows how to cheer me up. We then started speaking about how i was eating and drinking. So i started to list all the things i was doing. Then she said very quietly, but very forcefully, "your not eating enough". Wow. Now she has said it i know i'm not eating enough. Turns out all the work in the gym is very good but i now need to eat more carbs and protein. So one of my goals this week has been set, Write down all the food i have been eating and times, gym exercising and heart rates and also when i have water. We also spoke in a big detail about what type of foods i need to eat, for example, within 1hr of finishes exercise i need to eat some eggs. Yummy i thought. Eggs. hmmmmmmmm.
So hear are my goals for this week:
1) send email to Tammy daily on what i have done for the day, exercise, food, drink ect.
2) Eat Pasta at Lunch
3) Eat More Food
4) Write a meal plan and send to Tammy
5) Drink more water
6) Visit gym 5 times this week (walk 3k daily)
7) Go to toning class and swim twice this week.

Tuesday:

this was my day, nothing else really happened.
6:55 - 500ml water and tablets
8:00 - 3 apples

9:15am - GYM (target heart rate 125-145bpm)

* walker 1.5k for 20:52sec, heart rate 132
* cycle machine for 10mins, cycled 5.8k, heart rate 128
* cross trainer for 10 mins, 0.78k, heart rate 144
* walker 1.5k for 21:05sec, heart rate 144
* water drunk 500ml during hour


10:30 - 500ml water drunk
11:00 - 20 min walk home uphill (no bus running)
11:30 - scrambled eggsx3 with red pepper and spring onion
12:15 - 500ml water drunk
13:30 - tuna salad
14:28 - 500ml water drunk
15:47 - 3 whole carrot cut into sticks and red pepper sticks
17:30 - 500ml water drunk
19:00 - 500ml water drunk
19:30 - chicken salad
21:00 - 500ml water drunk

Weigh in Day

Hello all. Well today i woke up and i was very very exciting. I wanted to see if all my hard work had paid off. But we will come to that in a min. you see after my last post yesterday i decided to go and have a walk down to Tesco's to meet William from work. While i was there i decided to get a pink 500ml water bottle and also a yoga mat to go with my fitness ball. You see yesterday i did some research on the internet about different exercises i could do with my ball and then i came upon some i could do on the mat, with some weights. Now i spoke with Tammy and see gave me some good tips on Tuesday so while i was in Tesco, once William had joined me we purchased a dumbell tree of 2x1kg weights, 2x1.5kg weights and 2x3kg weights. All in a very handy carry tree/display. Well carry that to the car was funny as william had to and the combined weight was 11kg, more then he is used to lifting. lol. So as we arrived home we cooked the chicken which i was telling you about yesterday. OMG it was amazing! by the time we had reached home, delivered the Avon and also walked the doggy it was rather late so we just ended up having the chicken with some small salad. I will post the details of that another time however i don't have them to hand now. As i was saying, after we had dinner i decided to try the weights out. So while i was watching Russel Howard on TV at 10:30 last night i was using the weights to tone up my arms and i was also sitting on my exercise ball. William pumped it up again as it started to deflate a little, but you could tell the difference. So i was bouncing and stretching, and before i knew it i had been at it for 30mins! i know, i was shocked at the same time. So i packed the weights away, but not before William jumped on the ball and started to mimic what i had been doing to see if he could "feel" the difference.

So onto this morning. Well as i said previously i woke up in fine form, i was up and dressed and we were sitting outside the supermarket before the shop opened at 8am. I kept thinking out i can see a decrease in my waist in inches and was trying to think if i had lost 2/3/4lbs even. So when the doors opened i quickly ran to the weigh machine, well when i say ran i really mean a quick walk so i wouldn't seam to egar and just appear calm. So as i took my shoes off(as i always do) i paid my money and waited for the result. 1lb. Thats it? 1lb? after all the crap i put myself through this week in the gym, after all the good food i have eaten, after all the water i have drunk? 1lb! i was in shock. I couldn't believe it. As William weighed himself he kept saying that i have done good this week and my body has been building muscle and loosing fat. He said that muscle weighs more then fat so the fat that i have lost 1lb is a good thing. I was not happy. I got really upset and i really couldnt think of why i did not loose anymore. I mean for god sake i have walked 6k this week. That is 6k more then any other week i have done! So what is the f**king point? I then went to sad to angry in a matter of seconds. This i calmed down after smelling pretty pretty flowers. So i was not going to let this spoil me, so i did my normal shop and brought all very very nice things.

On the way home i was talking with William and i said maybe i have over done my time at the gym this week, and should there for have a rest today and the weekend. This went on for 10 mins on why i should and why i shouldn't. By the time i got home i had decided that i really Should go to the gym, so before i had chance to change my mind i had changed and was in the car again on my way to the gym. When i got there met Lee, a lady i have been working out with all week. I explained about the weight loss and as she is a ex-fitness army officer she said with the work i have been doing muscle has really been building up so i should be proud. She also said in a couple of weeks when those muscles had formed the fat should then start to fall right off. This was really encouraging for me. I know William had already told me this however when it comes from an outsider you take it in more. So i was happy. She left me to my work out as i arrived just as she was about to leave. After that i did my 2k walk in 29mins today. I know a little longer then yesterday but i took it a little easily then the previous days. I went on the cycle machine and then cross trainer, however my legs were close to breaking point at 5mins so i quickly swaped back to the cycle machine for the final 5mins.

After my work out William picked me up and we went to the table top sale in the community centre below the gym. I managed to get some very very lovely stamps and also a very pretty broach for next to nothing. One stamp was for £1 and was brand new, now i have seen this stamp in hobby craft and it was going for £17.99. I quickly paid the lady and left. lol her loss my big gain. So untill later my blogging friends, i'm off to stamp, stamp, stamp!

bye bye