Well after the mammoth post i did this morning, however only just noticed i didnt publish i thought instead of contiuning i would write another. So how has my day been so far?
Well again i started off by going to the gym. I love going at this time of the morning because it gets it out of the way. Also it means i can get on the running machine first, but that's a selfish view right? lol. So today i listened to my music on my Blackberry. It was great because i had downloaded some workout music and with that being a faster beat then normall, and also the fact i am getting fitter i managed to walk 2k in 28mins today! thats a whole 5mins faster then tuesday almost! I was sooo happy i took a picture of the screen and sent it to william. After doing this i really needed to push myself on the cycle machine and again i completed 10 mins on this. I then went straight onto the cross trainer, and well after 1 mins i wanted to get off. I couldn't do it. But then i remembered what Tammy had said to me a few weeks ago now about pushing myself further, and if i think i couldn't go anymore try a little bit further. And that is what i did. I pushed and i pushed and i finally managed to complete my 10 mins. It was very very hard for me. After wards i did my leg resistant and the decided to leave for the day. On my way out i popped into one of the tone classes. Before the gym opened i asked the instructor if it was very hard and she explained what it was like. So as i watched i couldn't help but think that i really wanted to join in. So next week im booking myself on that class for one day a week. I think it could and would be very very fun!
When i came home i started to get dinner ready. Last night while i was making a big fruit salad William made me a Tuna salad so we had our lunch for today. So i thought about trying something different so i looked in a chicken cookbook that i have and found a Moroccan chicken recipe. So as i started to work my way through the ingredient list i relaised i didnt have all of them, so i have played around and well i have now made a Moroccan Curry chicken. Now there is no yogurt or a creamy sauce, in fact there is no sauce but the marrinade is very very yummy as i tasted it before i put on the chicken. and yes i did write down the details so i could make again. Ill have to tell you what i think of that later.
So for now then i shall leave you as that is pretty much up to date with me. You can however follow me on twitter im @alyates. This is updated more then my blog at the moment, so untill later my blogging peeps. luv ya xx
Thursday, 22 April 2010
Another week, and a different story
Hello everyone! Well what a week i have had, really. So i have not written in a while i think ill give you the condensed version, that way my fingers will not start to bleed with the amount of typing i have to do so hear goes.
Last Thursday:
Well today is the day that me and William take heather out to the forest. It was sooooo much fun. I have never felt so alive and that was really good for me. We were in the forest for about 4 hours walking, using the adventure playground. We even took a picnic and we had a really good lunch in the park. It was wonderful. All that was missing was the doggy. However as heather is only 5 and well coco is a little bit of an attention seeker, we thought best not to take her with us. So as we played in the sunshine i couldnt help but think that it was time to get weighed on Sat and what all of my naughty eating had done to my body. But i tried the bedt i could to put this to one side and well enjoyed the day.
Friday
Well i didn't go to the gym today. After the day i had yesterday i really needed to veg in front of the TV, whilst getting up only going a few things. You see i wasn't watching the TV, i was playing Zelda, DAM GAME IS SOOOOOOOOO ADDICTIVE. Yet i do feel the over powering need to finish it as soon as i can so i can move on with my life knowing that i do love action games, and also knowing that i can be addicted and i will not be buying anything like this again. Or failing that i will try and buy an easy game which does not need two of us working the puzzles out. Well we had a very lazy day in the evening, so to take our minds of the weigh in which was to happen the next day, we went for a walk along the Hilsea Lido and that was fun. So we snuggled in for the night, and well we played Zelda a bit more.
Saturday:
Weigh in Day! well the moment had arrived and as i stood on the scales to get weighed i could not help but think that today was going to be a bad day. And to my shock it really wasn't. Well not really anyway. I weighed myself and i did not put any weight on. Neither did i loose any weight. So i was really happy at this. On this result i went round shopping with William thinking that i will be good this week. so as i filled my shopping trolly up with good nice healthy food my attention turned to the fact that we were going to a BBQ later that day. My god i don't wanna eat bad things i kept saying to myself, so as we got to the butchers i noticed that there were marinated rubs on different turkey breasts. So this is what we brought, and this is what i had. It was very fun actually eating my turkey. It felt like i had my first successful BBQ. This was funny really because people were trying to get me to have all the extra that comes with a BBQ, like ketchup, relish, corn, burgers ect and also bread. However i kept my strenght and well i did not go for it! Ha ha i thought Amy 1 BBQ 0. lol after we finished here we were due to go to a friends for dinner however she was very very poorly so we didnt go in the end. So instead we played Zelda. My oh My how the hours went by.
Sunday:
Well Sunday we had the most relaxing day and it was lovly. We went for a walk around a carboot and really just had fun in the sun. Afterwards we took the dog for a long walk and a swim and got home in late afternoon. We then sat in the sunshine and had a wonderfull chicken salad cooked by my wonderful husband.
Monday:
Today i did not go to the gym however i did spend the whole day completing washing and housework. I gutted almost the house from top to bottom in an attempt to get the house ship shape as i had been leaving it for a while due to last week. So After lots of housework finally finished. Now dont think that my house is dirty all the time, but when you have a doggy you need to hoover almost every day, but after a week of no hoovering it took me several times of cleaning and re-cleaning to get all the dog hairs up from the carpets. After wards i felt really really energize. Now i sent Tammy an email on sunday asking to talk either tuesday/wed/thursday and she replied today to arrange tuesday so tomorrow would be the talk.
Tuesday:
Talking with Tammy Day. Well today as all the housework was completed the day before i decided today would be fitness day, and this is what i did. I went to the gym at 9am and was really excited. William dropped me off and it was a very very good, no great work out. I decided that i really need to buckle down and hit the gym very very hard so i decided that i would this week walk on the treadmill non stop for 2k. So today was my first attempt. Well at the end i was knackered but i did it in 35.2mins. This was not bad for me but i knew as the week moves on i will get quicker. I then went on the bike and did 20 mins cycling covering a staggering 10.8k. that was awesome i thought, and now without a rest i went straight onto the cross trainer. at this point i could only manage 10 mins but then that was enough. I had had it. So as i collected my things i made my way to the bus stop and all was good. However when i got home it was only 10:45am and i wasn't talking to Tammy until 4pm so i then decided to go into Cosham and have a look around the shops. So as i walked i found a wonderful picnic backpack which i would use at the weekend for when i go up and see my sister in Norfolk. As i was making my way home i noticed that i had lost my sunglasses. i tried to retrace my steps however i could not find them and so i was left in the sun. Man i still need to get some more, but i shall look at the weekend. I managed to get home 10mins before speaking to tammy. This was very very lucky. So as i quickly stuffed my lunch which i was almost 3hours late for i logged on to wait for Tammy. There she popped, here goes.
We talked for ages about how i was feeling, what i had done and what i am currently doing. Tammy explained that she thought i had been on stage one of the diet for too long and i needed to show her how much i wanted to get through this, so no cheating on food anymore. I said that i thought she would say this and so on friday i started on stage one again so by tuesday i was already 5 days into a very very good week. Tammy explained that even if i did cheat at all i would still move onto stage 2. I am so determined not to cheat at all. We went over goals for this week and this is the outcome.
GOALS:
1) write a meal plan for the forthcoming week
2) drink 2ltrs of water (not including the water drunk at the gym)
3) Eat pasta at lunch
4) go to gym 5 times this week
5) walking 2k per session in one go.
6) Walk dog once a day
7) NO FAST FOOD!!!!
After this i went downstairs and still feeling good decided to have a meatless roast dinner. I did have the veg gravey as it didnt have yeast or wheat in, however only a little otherwise the whole dish would have been very very dry.
Wednesday:
Today was a very lazy/busy sorta day. I started again by going to the gym. This time however i managed to walk 2k in 31.01mins. So i had improved on yesterdays time. This made me very happy. I then only did 10mins on cycle machine and 10mins on cross trainer. I then did the resistant training as per my workout plan. After i finished i made my way home however i could not keep my eyes open, so i decided to have a nap. Well a little nap turned into 3hours! i know, when i woke up i realized what the time was and went downstairs for lunch as i was hungry, and also i had missed breakfast, and started to make the muffins for william to take to work. I was soooo good i did not have one. Thanks to my four legged friend who sat by the side of me. Everytime i fancied eating some i gave the dog some. You know i think as i get thinning Coco might get fatter. So by the time the cakes were finished i came upstairs and spoke with Bruni over Skype. I love Skype. Mind you after 3hours of talking i wondered where the time had gone. Bruni cracks me up all the time and i love her for it. She knows how to make me laugh, and well god help the day we finally get back onto Second life at the same time as we will be messing some Sim's that's for sure.
After william had arrived home i said good by to bruni and made my way downstairs were i needed to ice the muffins. As i did William sorted through all the Avon as we needed to deliver that on Tomorrow. After we did this we took Coco up the hill and it was fun. She was running round and me and William were messing. It was great, it was like we were flirting and dating all over again. Only this time with a doggy to add to our fun. As me and coco pinned William to the floor we caught a glips of the time and decided to make our way home for dinner. Yum yum i made eastern chicken. Which is really made in veg stock, with chopped chilli, garlic, ginger and corriander. It was very yummy however i thought it would get better if it had some more chilli but William said it would be fine as it is. So I sat down in the sofa and started to watch telly. The next thing i knew William was waking me up telling me to go to bed, so i dragged myself up to bed and fell asleep.
Last Thursday:
Well today is the day that me and William take heather out to the forest. It was sooooo much fun. I have never felt so alive and that was really good for me. We were in the forest for about 4 hours walking, using the adventure playground. We even took a picnic and we had a really good lunch in the park. It was wonderful. All that was missing was the doggy. However as heather is only 5 and well coco is a little bit of an attention seeker, we thought best not to take her with us. So as we played in the sunshine i couldnt help but think that it was time to get weighed on Sat and what all of my naughty eating had done to my body. But i tried the bedt i could to put this to one side and well enjoyed the day.
Friday
Well i didn't go to the gym today. After the day i had yesterday i really needed to veg in front of the TV, whilst getting up only going a few things. You see i wasn't watching the TV, i was playing Zelda, DAM GAME IS SOOOOOOOOO ADDICTIVE. Yet i do feel the over powering need to finish it as soon as i can so i can move on with my life knowing that i do love action games, and also knowing that i can be addicted and i will not be buying anything like this again. Or failing that i will try and buy an easy game which does not need two of us working the puzzles out. Well we had a very lazy day in the evening, so to take our minds of the weigh in which was to happen the next day, we went for a walk along the Hilsea Lido and that was fun. So we snuggled in for the night, and well we played Zelda a bit more.
Saturday:
Weigh in Day! well the moment had arrived and as i stood on the scales to get weighed i could not help but think that today was going to be a bad day. And to my shock it really wasn't. Well not really anyway. I weighed myself and i did not put any weight on. Neither did i loose any weight. So i was really happy at this. On this result i went round shopping with William thinking that i will be good this week. so as i filled my shopping trolly up with good nice healthy food my attention turned to the fact that we were going to a BBQ later that day. My god i don't wanna eat bad things i kept saying to myself, so as we got to the butchers i noticed that there were marinated rubs on different turkey breasts. So this is what we brought, and this is what i had. It was very fun actually eating my turkey. It felt like i had my first successful BBQ. This was funny really because people were trying to get me to have all the extra that comes with a BBQ, like ketchup, relish, corn, burgers ect and also bread. However i kept my strenght and well i did not go for it! Ha ha i thought Amy 1 BBQ 0. lol after we finished here we were due to go to a friends for dinner however she was very very poorly so we didnt go in the end. So instead we played Zelda. My oh My how the hours went by.
Sunday:
Well Sunday we had the most relaxing day and it was lovly. We went for a walk around a carboot and really just had fun in the sun. Afterwards we took the dog for a long walk and a swim and got home in late afternoon. We then sat in the sunshine and had a wonderfull chicken salad cooked by my wonderful husband.
Monday:
Today i did not go to the gym however i did spend the whole day completing washing and housework. I gutted almost the house from top to bottom in an attempt to get the house ship shape as i had been leaving it for a while due to last week. So After lots of housework finally finished. Now dont think that my house is dirty all the time, but when you have a doggy you need to hoover almost every day, but after a week of no hoovering it took me several times of cleaning and re-cleaning to get all the dog hairs up from the carpets. After wards i felt really really energize. Now i sent Tammy an email on sunday asking to talk either tuesday/wed/thursday and she replied today to arrange tuesday so tomorrow would be the talk.
Tuesday:
Talking with Tammy Day. Well today as all the housework was completed the day before i decided today would be fitness day, and this is what i did. I went to the gym at 9am and was really excited. William dropped me off and it was a very very good, no great work out. I decided that i really need to buckle down and hit the gym very very hard so i decided that i would this week walk on the treadmill non stop for 2k. So today was my first attempt. Well at the end i was knackered but i did it in 35.2mins. This was not bad for me but i knew as the week moves on i will get quicker. I then went on the bike and did 20 mins cycling covering a staggering 10.8k. that was awesome i thought, and now without a rest i went straight onto the cross trainer. at this point i could only manage 10 mins but then that was enough. I had had it. So as i collected my things i made my way to the bus stop and all was good. However when i got home it was only 10:45am and i wasn't talking to Tammy until 4pm so i then decided to go into Cosham and have a look around the shops. So as i walked i found a wonderful picnic backpack which i would use at the weekend for when i go up and see my sister in Norfolk. As i was making my way home i noticed that i had lost my sunglasses. i tried to retrace my steps however i could not find them and so i was left in the sun. Man i still need to get some more, but i shall look at the weekend. I managed to get home 10mins before speaking to tammy. This was very very lucky. So as i quickly stuffed my lunch which i was almost 3hours late for i logged on to wait for Tammy. There she popped, here goes.
We talked for ages about how i was feeling, what i had done and what i am currently doing. Tammy explained that she thought i had been on stage one of the diet for too long and i needed to show her how much i wanted to get through this, so no cheating on food anymore. I said that i thought she would say this and so on friday i started on stage one again so by tuesday i was already 5 days into a very very good week. Tammy explained that even if i did cheat at all i would still move onto stage 2. I am so determined not to cheat at all. We went over goals for this week and this is the outcome.
GOALS:
1) write a meal plan for the forthcoming week
2) drink 2ltrs of water (not including the water drunk at the gym)
3) Eat pasta at lunch
4) go to gym 5 times this week
5) walking 2k per session in one go.
6) Walk dog once a day
7) NO FAST FOOD!!!!
After this i went downstairs and still feeling good decided to have a meatless roast dinner. I did have the veg gravey as it didnt have yeast or wheat in, however only a little otherwise the whole dish would have been very very dry.
Wednesday:
Today was a very lazy/busy sorta day. I started again by going to the gym. This time however i managed to walk 2k in 31.01mins. So i had improved on yesterdays time. This made me very happy. I then only did 10mins on cycle machine and 10mins on cross trainer. I then did the resistant training as per my workout plan. After i finished i made my way home however i could not keep my eyes open, so i decided to have a nap. Well a little nap turned into 3hours! i know, when i woke up i realized what the time was and went downstairs for lunch as i was hungry, and also i had missed breakfast, and started to make the muffins for william to take to work. I was soooo good i did not have one. Thanks to my four legged friend who sat by the side of me. Everytime i fancied eating some i gave the dog some. You know i think as i get thinning Coco might get fatter. So by the time the cakes were finished i came upstairs and spoke with Bruni over Skype. I love Skype. Mind you after 3hours of talking i wondered where the time had gone. Bruni cracks me up all the time and i love her for it. She knows how to make me laugh, and well god help the day we finally get back onto Second life at the same time as we will be messing some Sim's that's for sure.
After william had arrived home i said good by to bruni and made my way downstairs were i needed to ice the muffins. As i did William sorted through all the Avon as we needed to deliver that on Tomorrow. After we did this we took Coco up the hill and it was fun. She was running round and me and William were messing. It was great, it was like we were flirting and dating all over again. Only this time with a doggy to add to our fun. As me and coco pinned William to the floor we caught a glips of the time and decided to make our way home for dinner. Yum yum i made eastern chicken. Which is really made in veg stock, with chopped chilli, garlic, ginger and corriander. It was very yummy however i thought it would get better if it had some more chilli but William said it would be fine as it is. So I sat down in the sofa and started to watch telly. The next thing i knew William was waking me up telling me to go to bed, so i dragged myself up to bed and fell asleep.
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
What a week.
Hello all,
Well what a week i've had. There is not much that i can really say but i know i have to so i can then move on from this dark week. Well on Friday i lost 2lbs. I was really upset at this as my target was 3lbs. I know 2lb is a good thing especially since i lost 7lbs the week before, but i was feeling very very down. But this didn't really stop me from getting on with things. So Friday after noon we went for a walk while William decided to go for a run. It was lovely. The sun was shinning and well we were in good spirits. It then went on to Saturday. Now normally we go for a swim in the morning however it was that time of the month so we couldn't go. So we had a long walk around the city centre looking for bits and peices that we needed. Again we went for another walk around with the doggy and William had a run. Then sunday arrived. We woke up early and decided to go to the supermarket. however to the shock of William i said we would walk down there. So we did. However we took the long way back and boy was it the long way back. In all we walked for 3 miles. I was excited when we got back and also very very tired. But i did it! and you know what it was fun. Then in the afternoon we went up to visit my nan in hospital. As the time went by we talked as much as she could however she was extremely sleepy. So after another failed attempt of trying to get her to eat her dinner we said our good byes and came home.
On Monday William tried to wake me up however i couldnt get up, i was so tired. So he left me in bed. The next thing i knew my phone was ringing. It was my mum. It was a kinda blur but all i heard was Nan is not well and dad and uncle Alan are on there way up. Without thinking i was dressed and was just about to leave when i got another phone call. My nan had passed away. Now my mum does not have a good relationship with my nan, which is on my dad's side. Its funny cos mum was somber as she told me. As i hung up i reached for my phone and called william. It was then that i started to cry. At first i was gonna say to William to stay at work however i really needed him and well he came home. By this point i had cleaned most of the house, had washing on the line and well trying to do things to keep me busy. It was only when i sat down in the living room with my bowl of berry fruit salad that my phone went again. This time it was my dad. He explained that he didnt want me up the hospital becuase it was all hectic and i was better off at home. He explained that she went peacefully and was now in a better place. I knew dad was upset so i didnt stay on the phone for long. After Dad spoke to me i was really upset. I started thinking about all the time i could have gone to see nan and i didnt. But through the tears William was cuddling me and kept holding me tighter. After a while William decided to take me out for some food as i was hungry. Man i can really eat when im upset. So after eating many many naughty items i asked William to take me to visit my dad. So as we all sat talking for a few hours we decided to leave as dad kept getting phone calls about my nan for various people. When we got home all i could think of was thanking the nurses for looking after my nan. So thats what i did, i made lots and lots of cakes and took them to the ward when my nan had spent the finale few weeks of her life. I gave them over and thanked the nurses all the time william was with me. i have to admit that i did eat alot of cakes while making them. It was like nothing mattered and i comfort eating. After we took the cakes to the hospital with a thank you card we decided to go for a drive. Well the drive was very long and afterwards again we were hungry. And again we decided to have some food out. Again we had again we had many things i should not have had. But after the day i have had i really didnt care. As we got home afterwards i went to bed as i could not keep my eyes open.
on tuesday i decided that i was not going to carry on my mamouth day of free range eating and decided to get back on the wagon, so to speak so on Williams way to work i got him to drop me off at the gym. I really exercised quiet slowly, but i did my work out and was pleased. Still feeling a bit down i decided to hop on the bus and go into cosham, so i did. I had a look round the shops and got a throwing arm for the dog so we could go walking later. About an hour after getting in i decided to go for a walk with coco, and so i did, this time for 1hr. i had fun just relaxing in the sunshine. As William couldnt get home till later i decided to go home and start dinner so i mad a wonderfully chicken salad. However made a marinade to flavour the chicken. I have never been so hungry in all my life so as William walked through the door i handed him his dinner and was already tucking into my own. After dinner i said to William we should walk the doggy again, and well so we did. As we came home i mad a huge fruit salad for the week and William cleaned the kitchen. By the way at this point i was also making a large pot of carrot and squash soup.
So onto today, Wednesday. I started the day off right again by being at the gym at 9am this morning. I had fun today and well i was putting more of an effort in what i was doing. Still i was not feeling as good as i was last week but the exercise really helped me get that get up an go.
Anyway im going to have some soup as it is lunch time. Now things have cleared up in my head i feel fine to start to blog again. So until later my blogging friends. xx
Well what a week i've had. There is not much that i can really say but i know i have to so i can then move on from this dark week. Well on Friday i lost 2lbs. I was really upset at this as my target was 3lbs. I know 2lb is a good thing especially since i lost 7lbs the week before, but i was feeling very very down. But this didn't really stop me from getting on with things. So Friday after noon we went for a walk while William decided to go for a run. It was lovely. The sun was shinning and well we were in good spirits. It then went on to Saturday. Now normally we go for a swim in the morning however it was that time of the month so we couldn't go. So we had a long walk around the city centre looking for bits and peices that we needed. Again we went for another walk around with the doggy and William had a run. Then sunday arrived. We woke up early and decided to go to the supermarket. however to the shock of William i said we would walk down there. So we did. However we took the long way back and boy was it the long way back. In all we walked for 3 miles. I was excited when we got back and also very very tired. But i did it! and you know what it was fun. Then in the afternoon we went up to visit my nan in hospital. As the time went by we talked as much as she could however she was extremely sleepy. So after another failed attempt of trying to get her to eat her dinner we said our good byes and came home.
On Monday William tried to wake me up however i couldnt get up, i was so tired. So he left me in bed. The next thing i knew my phone was ringing. It was my mum. It was a kinda blur but all i heard was Nan is not well and dad and uncle Alan are on there way up. Without thinking i was dressed and was just about to leave when i got another phone call. My nan had passed away. Now my mum does not have a good relationship with my nan, which is on my dad's side. Its funny cos mum was somber as she told me. As i hung up i reached for my phone and called william. It was then that i started to cry. At first i was gonna say to William to stay at work however i really needed him and well he came home. By this point i had cleaned most of the house, had washing on the line and well trying to do things to keep me busy. It was only when i sat down in the living room with my bowl of berry fruit salad that my phone went again. This time it was my dad. He explained that he didnt want me up the hospital becuase it was all hectic and i was better off at home. He explained that she went peacefully and was now in a better place. I knew dad was upset so i didnt stay on the phone for long. After Dad spoke to me i was really upset. I started thinking about all the time i could have gone to see nan and i didnt. But through the tears William was cuddling me and kept holding me tighter. After a while William decided to take me out for some food as i was hungry. Man i can really eat when im upset. So after eating many many naughty items i asked William to take me to visit my dad. So as we all sat talking for a few hours we decided to leave as dad kept getting phone calls about my nan for various people. When we got home all i could think of was thanking the nurses for looking after my nan. So thats what i did, i made lots and lots of cakes and took them to the ward when my nan had spent the finale few weeks of her life. I gave them over and thanked the nurses all the time william was with me. i have to admit that i did eat alot of cakes while making them. It was like nothing mattered and i comfort eating. After we took the cakes to the hospital with a thank you card we decided to go for a drive. Well the drive was very long and afterwards again we were hungry. And again we decided to have some food out. Again we had again we had many things i should not have had. But after the day i have had i really didnt care. As we got home afterwards i went to bed as i could not keep my eyes open.
on tuesday i decided that i was not going to carry on my mamouth day of free range eating and decided to get back on the wagon, so to speak so on Williams way to work i got him to drop me off at the gym. I really exercised quiet slowly, but i did my work out and was pleased. Still feeling a bit down i decided to hop on the bus and go into cosham, so i did. I had a look round the shops and got a throwing arm for the dog so we could go walking later. About an hour after getting in i decided to go for a walk with coco, and so i did, this time for 1hr. i had fun just relaxing in the sunshine. As William couldnt get home till later i decided to go home and start dinner so i mad a wonderfully chicken salad. However made a marinade to flavour the chicken. I have never been so hungry in all my life so as William walked through the door i handed him his dinner and was already tucking into my own. After dinner i said to William we should walk the doggy again, and well so we did. As we came home i mad a huge fruit salad for the week and William cleaned the kitchen. By the way at this point i was also making a large pot of carrot and squash soup.
So onto today, Wednesday. I started the day off right again by being at the gym at 9am this morning. I had fun today and well i was putting more of an effort in what i was doing. Still i was not feeling as good as i was last week but the exercise really helped me get that get up an go.
Anyway im going to have some soup as it is lunch time. Now things have cleared up in my head i feel fine to start to blog again. So until later my blogging friends. xx
Thursday, 8 April 2010
The day before weigh in
Hello all, sorry not written sooner i have had a strange day. Well it started off with me not really wanting to get up at all. Well William tried to wake me, or so he said however i was having none of it. Bless him he really wants to make a go of things for fitness so he decided that he was going to have a run this morning. This he did, though he later told me that it was not very far. I don't blame him as we do live in a hilly area. he said Coco ran by the side of him, and after realizing that this is not a game ran really well. Though William was in a good mood until lunch time when he told me that this run had made him really rather hungry. Well i had a quiet day, after my mammoth exercise yesterday. Well i did go swimming last night. however i did spend most of the time in the swimming pool just relaxing rather then swimming. but in between relaxing i did swim 300m. Which is more then i thought i would do.
Well about 4:30pm today i got rather board so decided to walk down and go to the gym. Why not? So off i went and well i had fun today. I think if i left it a couple of days - which is what i was going to do, then i would have really had trouble today. When i got tot he gym Sharron the instructor was sat at her desk. So as i started i put on my mp3 player and away i went. Then all of a sudden there was this loud bang, followed by another. What the fuck was that i was thinking. Then another and it was clear. Some kinds were on the ground and were throwing rocks at the windows. what the hell is the world coming to when kids, on a really lovley sunny day, decide that playing football is not an option, and instead go to the local community center and throw rocks at windows. Well after a few Sharon decided to call the local community officers, and within mins the rocks had stopped. Now back to work out. So as i carried on working out an old friend walked in. So as we chatted and caught up on everything that has been going on in both our worlds. Beofre long my work out was finished.
Now after i finished William met me from the gym and so we took the dog for a walk around the lake by the Hilsea lido. it was very romantic, and even though i just had been working out the stroll was very nice with the dog and William. So the sun was setting and there was a quietness about. Lovley.
So on that note, I think ill hit the sack as after all, i do get weighed..........
Well about 4:30pm today i got rather board so decided to walk down and go to the gym. Why not? So off i went and well i had fun today. I think if i left it a couple of days - which is what i was going to do, then i would have really had trouble today. When i got tot he gym Sharron the instructor was sat at her desk. So as i started i put on my mp3 player and away i went. Then all of a sudden there was this loud bang, followed by another. What the fuck was that i was thinking. Then another and it was clear. Some kinds were on the ground and were throwing rocks at the windows. what the hell is the world coming to when kids, on a really lovley sunny day, decide that playing football is not an option, and instead go to the local community center and throw rocks at windows. Well after a few Sharon decided to call the local community officers, and within mins the rocks had stopped. Now back to work out. So as i carried on working out an old friend walked in. So as we chatted and caught up on everything that has been going on in both our worlds. Beofre long my work out was finished.
Now after i finished William met me from the gym and so we took the dog for a walk around the lake by the Hilsea lido. it was very romantic, and even though i just had been working out the stroll was very nice with the dog and William. So the sun was setting and there was a quietness about. Lovley.
So on that note, I think ill hit the sack as after all, i do get weighed..........
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
The Gym
Well hello again folks, its blog time again. Well man do i ache! I had my gym induction today. now induction usually means and time to introduce you to items of gym equipment, not give you a full blown work out! My god do i now hurt! Well i arrived on time and was automatically given a form to sign and answer questions. Right so im now spending 10 mins filling in forms, this is a great work out for hands, but not really what i was after. Well then she got tough. I say tough but really she was very very polite and spoke to me all the way through explaining things and agreeing to a work out plan. however the darkness fell and she turned into a work out monster! Ok i have been playing too much Zelda but she did become very very stern in what i had to do. So to start she gave me my warm up. 10 mins on the tread mill at 3pmh. This was uber hard! i was in shock. I was wearing my new trainers and they made my feet hurt like hell. Not only the back but the sides of my feet as well. This is not good, i have another hour of this. So as the 10 mins finished i was secretly wiping the seat from my face so she wouldn't see me. Getting a sweat on whilst warming up is never a good sign right? Well after this she took me over to the weights to have some resistance training. We used weights for my arms and also my legs. It was ok cos i was sitting down so i only felt the pain in my legs as i tried to lift 4kg with my shins, nice i though as i strained to lift my legs up without screaming in agony. Then came the cardio. My god i have never know pain like doing 35 mins of pure cardio in one amount of time. She was telling me that i had to do 20mins of cardio on one machine and then 10 on another, but we need to work towards that. So for now my routine is now, 10 mins on the bike, 10 mins cross trainer, and 10 mins on the treadmill again. All of the settings on these machines all set to random. I now have to aim to keep my heart rate in 125-145bpm. This i had no problems doing. So as i cycled away i though this was ok, not to bad. Then i finished, i felt rather good about myself. Then she put me on the cross trainer. Ok this is now hard. As i counted down the mins it seamed to get longer and longer. Come on come on i kept thinking. Also thinking about random stuff like, what does chocolate and mayo taste like? This is probably because i watched a tv show last night which had a lot of chocolate in. Then after finishing on this i needed a little break. but Mrs fitness instructor did not want to give me a rest. oh no, so with sweat now dripping from my for head and my heart going ten to the dozen, i started on my ten min walk on the treadmill. Ok you can do this i thought. She said i had to start trying to walk without my hands on the machine, however i couldn't do it. I needed to hand on as i thought my legs would give way and that would be it. So holding so tightly i thought my fingers would melt into the plastic as i was now getting very very hot and sticky. And so the mins turned to seconds and then i had finished. Thank fuck for that! Sorry bout swearing but it kinda summed up how i was feeling. Then she turned to me and said it now time to cool down. So as she walked to the cycle machine i kinda dragged myself behind her trying not to make a wimper sound as at this point i was licking my paws in shock. Ok 3 mins on the cycle machine. So as i sat cycling slowly she chatted to me and explained what would happen now and i was basically now finished my work out. I got off the machine after the 3 mins and then we stretched and she led me downstairs for my photo. PHOTO! i know. out of any time i could have had a photo take it was after i had worked out, and on a day i have not washed my hair because i was going swimming later! I really really do not want to see that picture any time soon. So as we said good bye she reminded me of the exercises to do at home on a big blue ball if i could get one. Apparently its all in the hip action. So if you see me walking down a street and im wiggling my hips you know i have to do it, the instructor told me so.
Now after i had finished i waited about 5 mins and William arrived to pick me up. I told him how it all went and he was happy. It was only after we got home that i realized how much pain i was going through. Lets just say so far William has helped me out of the car and up the stairs as i think my legs have taken a short break to any where away from the rest of me. They have placed a huge sign saying, exercise will be banned, we are on strike. So not sure how swimming is going to go later, we shall have to see. so until later. bye bye x
Now after i had finished i waited about 5 mins and William arrived to pick me up. I told him how it all went and he was happy. It was only after we got home that i realized how much pain i was going through. Lets just say so far William has helped me out of the car and up the stairs as i think my legs have taken a short break to any where away from the rest of me. They have placed a huge sign saying, exercise will be banned, we are on strike. So not sure how swimming is going to go later, we shall have to see. so until later. bye bye x
Tammy's Weekly Talk
Hello blogging world. Sorry this is later then normal, had things on my mind and well trying to loose myself in the web so i don't have to do things. Not good really but it seamed to kill a few hours. Well nothing really has happened today however at 3:30pm today i have my gym induction, so ill blog later and tell you about it. Well let me get on and tell you about my chat with Tammy yesterday.
Well yesterday i was still on a low from Monday. It was because of this that i had some chocolate. I know it was a bad thing however i really wasn't feeling the whole eat healthy thing. So as i was logging in i had it written on a piece of paper all the things i did wrong at the weekend and needed to tell Tammy. We spent almost 40 mins of just pouring out my soul to her. She is the most wonderful friend for letting me do this. You know it is so hard to speak to William or in my family some times on how i am feeling because they all act differently. William will be sympathetic, My dad will try and fix things and well my mum will listen but then change the subject. Its never the same. but with Tammy, no matter what mood I'm in she still reacts the same, and well i think that is why i can open up to her about everything. I told her my inner feelings, lately i have been keeping some back from hear because maybe I'm not ready to let the whole world hear about them just yet, but it is always good to let most of the wires out the jar right?
Well first thing Tammy wanted to say to me after our heart to heart was how well i had done the week before. She was excited that i have managed to pull the cat out of the bag and get my backside into gear. She was really happy and talking about what i had actually achieved really put a smile back on my face. I was able then to tell her what a good girl i have been. Tammy has been reading my blog so she then went on give give me her comments on what i had been up to. They were all positive. She loved that i had been honest and well keeping up with the blog is a great idea. She had a few pointers she wanted me to follow. The main thing really was try and find something to eat when feeling down which is within my food allowance. I know i know, this is not knew to me but again Tammy said it in a way which i could understand. I don't know how she does it but that girl can put a rainbow in the toughest storm and make things glow again. Well we spoke a lot about different food and she went into details over the craving for sugar i have been having. Tammy said the last time round we tried to detox that if the craving sugar got to much then i should try having fruit as a last option. Well i did that a lot last week and i told Tammy this. She has asked me this week not to give in to this craving now and eat something savory sweet instead. So Morrisions better have a good stash of red peppers when i go shopping cos i am going to get loads. I never knew that when you detox the back yeast in your tummy is dying so if you have cut out wheat and yeast it then starts to crave sweet things, like chocolate. If i then feed it fruit, although healthy option to sweets, it is not helping with the detox. You can have fruit in the morning, now hear is wear i get confused. I am sure she said something about enzymes and blood stream, but there is only so much i can keep in and well when things start to get technical i can understand when explained, but after that i have no clue. I have been like that for years. It is probably why i was good at pop quizes at the end of science class my failed rotten in my GCSE Exams. After a while chatting we came up with some goals for me to achieve this week so here goes.
GOALS:
1) Go to gym 3 times this week.
2) Go swimming 3 times this week
3) Wii active once a day
4) Only fruit in the morning.
5) Eat veg sticks in the afternoon
6) NO FAST FOOD INC CRISPS!!!
7) 3lbs weight loss this week
8) DRINK WATER
So there you have it guys, maybe next time ill go into more detail. Untill later tonight after ive been to the gym and swimming ill write some more. Bye bye x
Well yesterday i was still on a low from Monday. It was because of this that i had some chocolate. I know it was a bad thing however i really wasn't feeling the whole eat healthy thing. So as i was logging in i had it written on a piece of paper all the things i did wrong at the weekend and needed to tell Tammy. We spent almost 40 mins of just pouring out my soul to her. She is the most wonderful friend for letting me do this. You know it is so hard to speak to William or in my family some times on how i am feeling because they all act differently. William will be sympathetic, My dad will try and fix things and well my mum will listen but then change the subject. Its never the same. but with Tammy, no matter what mood I'm in she still reacts the same, and well i think that is why i can open up to her about everything. I told her my inner feelings, lately i have been keeping some back from hear because maybe I'm not ready to let the whole world hear about them just yet, but it is always good to let most of the wires out the jar right?
Well first thing Tammy wanted to say to me after our heart to heart was how well i had done the week before. She was excited that i have managed to pull the cat out of the bag and get my backside into gear. She was really happy and talking about what i had actually achieved really put a smile back on my face. I was able then to tell her what a good girl i have been. Tammy has been reading my blog so she then went on give give me her comments on what i had been up to. They were all positive. She loved that i had been honest and well keeping up with the blog is a great idea. She had a few pointers she wanted me to follow. The main thing really was try and find something to eat when feeling down which is within my food allowance. I know i know, this is not knew to me but again Tammy said it in a way which i could understand. I don't know how she does it but that girl can put a rainbow in the toughest storm and make things glow again. Well we spoke a lot about different food and she went into details over the craving for sugar i have been having. Tammy said the last time round we tried to detox that if the craving sugar got to much then i should try having fruit as a last option. Well i did that a lot last week and i told Tammy this. She has asked me this week not to give in to this craving now and eat something savory sweet instead. So Morrisions better have a good stash of red peppers when i go shopping cos i am going to get loads. I never knew that when you detox the back yeast in your tummy is dying so if you have cut out wheat and yeast it then starts to crave sweet things, like chocolate. If i then feed it fruit, although healthy option to sweets, it is not helping with the detox. You can have fruit in the morning, now hear is wear i get confused. I am sure she said something about enzymes and blood stream, but there is only so much i can keep in and well when things start to get technical i can understand when explained, but after that i have no clue. I have been like that for years. It is probably why i was good at pop quizes at the end of science class my failed rotten in my GCSE Exams. After a while chatting we came up with some goals for me to achieve this week so here goes.
GOALS:
1) Go to gym 3 times this week.
2) Go swimming 3 times this week
3) Wii active once a day
4) Only fruit in the morning.
5) Eat veg sticks in the afternoon
6) NO FAST FOOD INC CRISPS!!!
7) 3lbs weight loss this week
8) DRINK WATER
So there you have it guys, maybe next time ill go into more detail. Untill later tonight after ive been to the gym and swimming ill write some more. Bye bye x
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Easter Weekend
Hello all! Sorry i have not had chance to blog however i have had several things happen this weekend with has meant i really have not had the time to. But can i say now that it has not been the best weekend. i have really struggled to try and keep on top of things, food wise that is however it has really not been the best. So let me give you a run down of how my weekend went.
Friday:
After we went swimming we decided to go and visit my nan. She is my nan on my mums side. Well earlier on a had a txt and a phone call from my Uncle John. As he was going to pick up my cousin from his army barracks Oxford, he had decided to stay the night there. He asked if i could come and stay at his house and keep my nan company. So as we sat talking to my nan who was in the middle of doing her hair, i asked if i needed to bring anything with me. My nan is so funny, we can talk about the same topics but they do seam to change a little every time she speaks. As she was busy i waited until she had finished her hair before we went downstairs for a drink. As we sat in the kitchen William popped his head in to say hello as he was trying to fix my Uncle's laptop. After we had stayed a while we returned home to have our much awaited Fish. Yummy, it was sooooooooo nice. The sesame seeds really gave it a lovely taste and i was happy with the result, and will defiantly have again. After this i started to play Zelda, yet again. Something which has now made me completely addicted. Much to Williams upset.
Saturday:
We woke up fairy alive this morning. on Friday when i was making the salad for our fish i carried on and made a berry fruit salad for this morning and also sunday morning. I tried to make as much as i could so then i didn't have to do much work for this day. Something which worked really really well. So after waking up and having my tablets before William had surfaced was very very good. As the time got on it was 8:00 o'clock and i really wanted to get the house work done, so that's what we did. So as William cleaned the kitchen and sorted the washing i cleaned all the other rooms in the house. We were planning on going swimming this weekend however decided to only go on Monday morning because of the things we needed to get done. So by 10:30am everything was done. So as we got our things together we headed into Portsmouth as we had found from shop vouchers that we thought we could spend. My God has losings weight changed the way i can shop! Normally i would need to sit down every so often as my back would hurt, or even worse, because i "just needed the rest". However this time, we only took a break once as my feet were hurting because i had spent the past 3 hours looking in shops, walking back and forth endlessly at things and standing still. I had to admit i was very very impressed. Also i think because i had done so much in the morning (hovering the whole house ect) it kinda all added up. As we were in town we decided to have lunch, so yet again i looked for Subway. I love it there because you can choose what you like. So this time i had plain steak, but no cheese, and uber and uber amounts of salad. I had to ask the girl several times for more salad as she was packing however i knew i had gone to far when she gave me the most dirtiest look of all time. I then went to the counter to pay along with Williams. Bless him. He sat looking at me with his foot long saying sorry every second he could between mouthfuls at the fact he was having a bread. I tried to tell him he was fine however i just think he was a hungry puppy as leading up to lunch he was becoming very very irritated and snappy. So after i had finished my salad i was still hungry and so this is where it got bad. I had a packet of crisps. I know, i know i shouldn't have done it but i did. I did however look for the low fat ones, and the one's with the less calories. After that, i wan not hungry anymore. The seamed to hit the spot just right. Oh i forgot to say, another reason why we went to town is to by me a belt. You see a couple of weeks ago i started to wear a pare of jeans i had found at the back of my wardrobe which i hadn't been able to fit into. Well i tried them on and they fitted perfectly. However after going through my washing cycle of stuff which has about a 3 week turn over with the amount of clothes that i own, i put them on again today. Wow. Not only are they now big on me, but i can now put them on, and take them off without unzipping them. This was much cause of celebration in the house, however not to much as they kept falling down. So first thing's first. Find and new belt. I have never worn a belt before. Well i have had one, that's a lie, but only on clothes as part of decoration. Now i was using a belt because i needed to keep my jeans up. Perfect. So we chose a black one, with a pretty pattern on and so, as i write this, i am sitting with such item perfectly in place doing what it needs to do. Wonderful. Also they fit on my other pare of jeans too, so it really was a good thing to get. After we got home it was time to go to my mums and get my nan to go home. Now when we arrived my nan was already at home. My mum had taken her home early so it was nice just talking to my mum and dad. It was also when i found out that my other nan, on my Dad's side was in hospital. But i'll tell you more on that under Monday. So as we were talking after how my sisters were getting on, and everything else we could possibly think of, Mum looked up and asked if we wanted some food for tea. Ah ha my planning has paid off. So form my bag of goodies i had previously prepared emerged a wonderful prawn salad. So as i ate this everyone else had a gammon in a roll and crisps. Again i was very very naughty and had another packet of crisps. i know i know. But there is only so many times you could say no before you just take the packet to keep them quiet. I have to admit, i felt really bad about eating them, so i didn't eat all of them. As time was getting on we decided to leave and head to my Nan's. So with an over night bag, and an over night food bag we left. It was about 9:30pm and i had been chatting with my nan for a few hours over again, bits and bobs when Nan asked if i was thirsty and wanted a cup of tea. I said no in favor of some water i had in a bottle by the side of me. However Nan would not really take no for an answer, but i was strong this time and kept saying the NO. She finally got the message and then started on would you like form food. Again i said no to crisps, which was her favorite choice as this is what she had at this time of night. Again this time i said no and tucked into a little fruit compote of rhubarb and apple. It was very very yummy. I loved it really. i was at this point very very proud of myself. I know i had too slips today, but they were not major, so it was ok in my eyes.
Sunday:
Breakfast at my Nans. Now i knew this would be tough on me so luckily i had become prepared. So i took my tablets and had a large glass of water even before i was dressed and out of my room. This in its self without William reminding me again was a very good thing for me. so after i was dressed i headed into the kitchen to start on breakfast. I had arranged with my nan and William that i would cook a cooked breakfast, and that is what i was going to do. However not for me. Oh no i was a very very good girl. So as i ate my prepared berry fruit salad made on Friday for today i was cooking bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, toast and hot cross buns. It all looked so yummy. I needed a plan to take my mind off the food, so about 1 hour after eating the fruit i served breakfast to a hungry mob. Now my nan is from a generation of cooking in Lard. So for me to cook everything in grills, oven and poaching the eggs was all new to her, but boy did she love it. The food had flavor. Well so she told me. During the cooking process i was very very tempted to eat what they had, but oh no i kept strong. The smell was so nice i think i can still smell it now. Instead of heaving what would have been under the old diet plan as ok, as no fat was used and all was extremely lean and healthy food (apart from the sausages of course) i instead has red pepper, spring onions in scrambled eggs. It was nice as i sat on a chair watching nan and William eat whilst i held my big bowl of eggs. My nan didn't believe that i was not going to have what she had but understood that if this it what it takes, then i'm gonna do it. After we had cleared up it was time to leave and so we said our goodbyes. It was then we went to a craft fair in Portsmouth, which William completely spoilt me in buying a very pretty bracelet and matching necklace. Something i have now been wearing the past few days. Trying to match your jewelery to you clothes is ok, but when you have your jewelry on first and the matching what you wear for that day based on the fact you want to wear the necklace is all rather new to me, but i managed. After we had spent a few hours looking round the fort and all the craft stalls we come home and started to play Zelda, yet again. I had a feeling we would be playing this for some time this weekend and sure enough he we went again.
Monday:
Well Monday started ok. We got up early as we said we would and we went swimming. I had my tablets and water and so i was fighting to go. Well that is a lie really. To say we were fighting was probably more like falling asleep in the car on route. We were in the pool at 7:30am. Now normally this is not to bad for William as he gets up and is out the house for work at this time, however we were playing Zelda until 1:00am and so we needed a pick me up. As we same i noticed that i was in fact getting faster. However with speed ment i had to retire sooner then i wanted to. So after we went to Morrisons where we had breakfast. Now i tried to find something on the menu which i could have and really i couldn't. So i ran back in the store, brought some fruit and had this. It was yummy. So William was eating another cooked breakfast and i was having fruit. However the smell of eggs were appealing. So i then ordered some eggs, completely plan. Unfortunately they were fried eggs, but even better is that they were cooked on a hot plate. so i started to munch away and i was quite happy. I didn't know then that today was going to be very rough for me. you remember i told you that i found out my nan was in hospital, well i had said to my dad that i would go and see her with him. I really think he was happy at this as so as we made our way to the hospital dad was explaining what was wrong with her. My heart sunk. Now i have not seen my nan in almost 2 years. you see in her old age she has set upon the fact that my sisters has well, not in her favor because they had children before marriage. Something which is not pleasant but for some reason she likes me. I really am in two minds on weather i wanted to see nan because of this as i love my sisters to bits however as William kept reminding me, i am not doing this for nan, i am doing this to support my dad. Now my nan had a fall in the bathroom as she is stubborn and doesn't like any help. (remind you of anyone??? lol) and well he broke her leg. Now i thought what anyone would and think she would be in a cast however this is not the case. She has broken the main bone in her thigh. To the pint it snapped and both pieces are now pointing in the wrong direction. But there is more, they can not operate. So at the age of 79, my nan currently is lying in hospital in traction. She cant move and is in constant pain. As we arrived to her bed i realized why i didn't want to see her. It was clear that my nan didnt really understand who i was a first, her eyesight has almost gone, and she couldn't really hear what we were saying - or really understand for that matter. Now no matter what she had said or done in the past no one should ever have to be in that state. My heart really sank. Inside i was fighting the tears because i couldn't show them. Dad seamed to think after this hospital trip she will end up in a nursing home, and all i kept thinking was why did it have to get to this point to see her. I couldn't help but go over and over in my mind why have i not supported my dad sooner is helping him with my nan but just going with him to see her. Its obvious my nan has been getting worse, why didn't i see the signs when dad spoke about it? So as i spoke with her she told stories of where she went i London the night before, something which i think she was remembering form her past. I was really chocking up inside. She wasn't even in her own bedclothes. She was still wearing the hospital gowns, and she had been in there for a week! I know my dad visits her every time he could however he doesn't have access to her house so i couldn't really blame him. As the time went on both William and dad left and came back to the room as they really didn't like hospital beds. After everything that goes on this is the last of dad worries. So dinner time arrive in the hospital and so they asked if i was ok at feeding my nan. As dad and William at this point had gone for a walk i said yes. I had to keep looking away as not to show my tears. I was feeding the woman who the last time i spoke and saw her was able to feed herself. As she looked at me, all eyes gazed over opening her mouth for more i really had to be strong. The nurses kept saying that just give her as much as she wanted, but she must have been hungry as she ate nearly every bit of her food. During this time William and dad come to her bed and watched as we ate. Dad mentioned he feed her the day before and it went everywhere. I think he loved the fact that i was feeding her though, meant she had a good meal inside her. After dinner the nurses said they were going to move her traction on her leg and it was going to take a while and would be distressing. They asked he we wanted to leave or wait, Dad took the decision at this point it was time to leave as we had been at her side for about 2.5hrs. As we said goodbye she said over and over thank you for coming. Why does this pull on my heart strings? I, at this point just wanted to get out and forget about it, but i couldn't. As we traveled back to dad's we talked about bits and bobs trying not to talk about nan. Before we knew it we were home. We spent a few hours talking with mum and dad and then we left to come home. This point i was mentally and physically drained. It was then that i made a very very bad choice. We had burger king. I was hungry and really still in shock. This is my no means cause for having something very very bad to eat but it was the only place open and well we were hungry. All i kept thinking about was how i fed my nan and it was very upsetting. I was extremely quiet. William did all he could to try and comfort me by saying i was amazing, but its no use, I am just doing what anyone who have done in the circumstances.
I have to take a break now as this pretty much sums up my weekend. So until, after my call from Tammy at 4pm i will blog then.
Friday:
After we went swimming we decided to go and visit my nan. She is my nan on my mums side. Well earlier on a had a txt and a phone call from my Uncle John. As he was going to pick up my cousin from his army barracks Oxford, he had decided to stay the night there. He asked if i could come and stay at his house and keep my nan company. So as we sat talking to my nan who was in the middle of doing her hair, i asked if i needed to bring anything with me. My nan is so funny, we can talk about the same topics but they do seam to change a little every time she speaks. As she was busy i waited until she had finished her hair before we went downstairs for a drink. As we sat in the kitchen William popped his head in to say hello as he was trying to fix my Uncle's laptop. After we had stayed a while we returned home to have our much awaited Fish. Yummy, it was sooooooooo nice. The sesame seeds really gave it a lovely taste and i was happy with the result, and will defiantly have again. After this i started to play Zelda, yet again. Something which has now made me completely addicted. Much to Williams upset.
Saturday:
We woke up fairy alive this morning. on Friday when i was making the salad for our fish i carried on and made a berry fruit salad for this morning and also sunday morning. I tried to make as much as i could so then i didn't have to do much work for this day. Something which worked really really well. So after waking up and having my tablets before William had surfaced was very very good. As the time got on it was 8:00 o'clock and i really wanted to get the house work done, so that's what we did. So as William cleaned the kitchen and sorted the washing i cleaned all the other rooms in the house. We were planning on going swimming this weekend however decided to only go on Monday morning because of the things we needed to get done. So by 10:30am everything was done. So as we got our things together we headed into Portsmouth as we had found from shop vouchers that we thought we could spend. My God has losings weight changed the way i can shop! Normally i would need to sit down every so often as my back would hurt, or even worse, because i "just needed the rest". However this time, we only took a break once as my feet were hurting because i had spent the past 3 hours looking in shops, walking back and forth endlessly at things and standing still. I had to admit i was very very impressed. Also i think because i had done so much in the morning (hovering the whole house ect) it kinda all added up. As we were in town we decided to have lunch, so yet again i looked for Subway. I love it there because you can choose what you like. So this time i had plain steak, but no cheese, and uber and uber amounts of salad. I had to ask the girl several times for more salad as she was packing however i knew i had gone to far when she gave me the most dirtiest look of all time. I then went to the counter to pay along with Williams. Bless him. He sat looking at me with his foot long saying sorry every second he could between mouthfuls at the fact he was having a bread. I tried to tell him he was fine however i just think he was a hungry puppy as leading up to lunch he was becoming very very irritated and snappy. So after i had finished my salad i was still hungry and so this is where it got bad. I had a packet of crisps. I know, i know i shouldn't have done it but i did. I did however look for the low fat ones, and the one's with the less calories. After that, i wan not hungry anymore. The seamed to hit the spot just right. Oh i forgot to say, another reason why we went to town is to by me a belt. You see a couple of weeks ago i started to wear a pare of jeans i had found at the back of my wardrobe which i hadn't been able to fit into. Well i tried them on and they fitted perfectly. However after going through my washing cycle of stuff which has about a 3 week turn over with the amount of clothes that i own, i put them on again today. Wow. Not only are they now big on me, but i can now put them on, and take them off without unzipping them. This was much cause of celebration in the house, however not to much as they kept falling down. So first thing's first. Find and new belt. I have never worn a belt before. Well i have had one, that's a lie, but only on clothes as part of decoration. Now i was using a belt because i needed to keep my jeans up. Perfect. So we chose a black one, with a pretty pattern on and so, as i write this, i am sitting with such item perfectly in place doing what it needs to do. Wonderful. Also they fit on my other pare of jeans too, so it really was a good thing to get. After we got home it was time to go to my mums and get my nan to go home. Now when we arrived my nan was already at home. My mum had taken her home early so it was nice just talking to my mum and dad. It was also when i found out that my other nan, on my Dad's side was in hospital. But i'll tell you more on that under Monday. So as we were talking after how my sisters were getting on, and everything else we could possibly think of, Mum looked up and asked if we wanted some food for tea. Ah ha my planning has paid off. So form my bag of goodies i had previously prepared emerged a wonderful prawn salad. So as i ate this everyone else had a gammon in a roll and crisps. Again i was very very naughty and had another packet of crisps. i know i know. But there is only so many times you could say no before you just take the packet to keep them quiet. I have to admit, i felt really bad about eating them, so i didn't eat all of them. As time was getting on we decided to leave and head to my Nan's. So with an over night bag, and an over night food bag we left. It was about 9:30pm and i had been chatting with my nan for a few hours over again, bits and bobs when Nan asked if i was thirsty and wanted a cup of tea. I said no in favor of some water i had in a bottle by the side of me. However Nan would not really take no for an answer, but i was strong this time and kept saying the NO. She finally got the message and then started on would you like form food. Again i said no to crisps, which was her favorite choice as this is what she had at this time of night. Again this time i said no and tucked into a little fruit compote of rhubarb and apple. It was very very yummy. I loved it really. i was at this point very very proud of myself. I know i had too slips today, but they were not major, so it was ok in my eyes.
Sunday:
Breakfast at my Nans. Now i knew this would be tough on me so luckily i had become prepared. So i took my tablets and had a large glass of water even before i was dressed and out of my room. This in its self without William reminding me again was a very good thing for me. so after i was dressed i headed into the kitchen to start on breakfast. I had arranged with my nan and William that i would cook a cooked breakfast, and that is what i was going to do. However not for me. Oh no i was a very very good girl. So as i ate my prepared berry fruit salad made on Friday for today i was cooking bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, toast and hot cross buns. It all looked so yummy. I needed a plan to take my mind off the food, so about 1 hour after eating the fruit i served breakfast to a hungry mob. Now my nan is from a generation of cooking in Lard. So for me to cook everything in grills, oven and poaching the eggs was all new to her, but boy did she love it. The food had flavor. Well so she told me. During the cooking process i was very very tempted to eat what they had, but oh no i kept strong. The smell was so nice i think i can still smell it now. Instead of heaving what would have been under the old diet plan as ok, as no fat was used and all was extremely lean and healthy food (apart from the sausages of course) i instead has red pepper, spring onions in scrambled eggs. It was nice as i sat on a chair watching nan and William eat whilst i held my big bowl of eggs. My nan didn't believe that i was not going to have what she had but understood that if this it what it takes, then i'm gonna do it. After we had cleared up it was time to leave and so we said our goodbyes. It was then we went to a craft fair in Portsmouth, which William completely spoilt me in buying a very pretty bracelet and matching necklace. Something i have now been wearing the past few days. Trying to match your jewelery to you clothes is ok, but when you have your jewelry on first and the matching what you wear for that day based on the fact you want to wear the necklace is all rather new to me, but i managed. After we had spent a few hours looking round the fort and all the craft stalls we come home and started to play Zelda, yet again. I had a feeling we would be playing this for some time this weekend and sure enough he we went again.
Monday:
Well Monday started ok. We got up early as we said we would and we went swimming. I had my tablets and water and so i was fighting to go. Well that is a lie really. To say we were fighting was probably more like falling asleep in the car on route. We were in the pool at 7:30am. Now normally this is not to bad for William as he gets up and is out the house for work at this time, however we were playing Zelda until 1:00am and so we needed a pick me up. As we same i noticed that i was in fact getting faster. However with speed ment i had to retire sooner then i wanted to. So after we went to Morrisons where we had breakfast. Now i tried to find something on the menu which i could have and really i couldn't. So i ran back in the store, brought some fruit and had this. It was yummy. So William was eating another cooked breakfast and i was having fruit. However the smell of eggs were appealing. So i then ordered some eggs, completely plan. Unfortunately they were fried eggs, but even better is that they were cooked on a hot plate. so i started to munch away and i was quite happy. I didn't know then that today was going to be very rough for me. you remember i told you that i found out my nan was in hospital, well i had said to my dad that i would go and see her with him. I really think he was happy at this as so as we made our way to the hospital dad was explaining what was wrong with her. My heart sunk. Now i have not seen my nan in almost 2 years. you see in her old age she has set upon the fact that my sisters has well, not in her favor because they had children before marriage. Something which is not pleasant but for some reason she likes me. I really am in two minds on weather i wanted to see nan because of this as i love my sisters to bits however as William kept reminding me, i am not doing this for nan, i am doing this to support my dad. Now my nan had a fall in the bathroom as she is stubborn and doesn't like any help. (remind you of anyone??? lol) and well he broke her leg. Now i thought what anyone would and think she would be in a cast however this is not the case. She has broken the main bone in her thigh. To the pint it snapped and both pieces are now pointing in the wrong direction. But there is more, they can not operate. So at the age of 79, my nan currently is lying in hospital in traction. She cant move and is in constant pain. As we arrived to her bed i realized why i didn't want to see her. It was clear that my nan didnt really understand who i was a first, her eyesight has almost gone, and she couldn't really hear what we were saying - or really understand for that matter. Now no matter what she had said or done in the past no one should ever have to be in that state. My heart really sank. Inside i was fighting the tears because i couldn't show them. Dad seamed to think after this hospital trip she will end up in a nursing home, and all i kept thinking was why did it have to get to this point to see her. I couldn't help but go over and over in my mind why have i not supported my dad sooner is helping him with my nan but just going with him to see her. Its obvious my nan has been getting worse, why didn't i see the signs when dad spoke about it? So as i spoke with her she told stories of where she went i London the night before, something which i think she was remembering form her past. I was really chocking up inside. She wasn't even in her own bedclothes. She was still wearing the hospital gowns, and she had been in there for a week! I know my dad visits her every time he could however he doesn't have access to her house so i couldn't really blame him. As the time went on both William and dad left and came back to the room as they really didn't like hospital beds. After everything that goes on this is the last of dad worries. So dinner time arrive in the hospital and so they asked if i was ok at feeding my nan. As dad and William at this point had gone for a walk i said yes. I had to keep looking away as not to show my tears. I was feeding the woman who the last time i spoke and saw her was able to feed herself. As she looked at me, all eyes gazed over opening her mouth for more i really had to be strong. The nurses kept saying that just give her as much as she wanted, but she must have been hungry as she ate nearly every bit of her food. During this time William and dad come to her bed and watched as we ate. Dad mentioned he feed her the day before and it went everywhere. I think he loved the fact that i was feeding her though, meant she had a good meal inside her. After dinner the nurses said they were going to move her traction on her leg and it was going to take a while and would be distressing. They asked he we wanted to leave or wait, Dad took the decision at this point it was time to leave as we had been at her side for about 2.5hrs. As we said goodbye she said over and over thank you for coming. Why does this pull on my heart strings? I, at this point just wanted to get out and forget about it, but i couldn't. As we traveled back to dad's we talked about bits and bobs trying not to talk about nan. Before we knew it we were home. We spent a few hours talking with mum and dad and then we left to come home. This point i was mentally and physically drained. It was then that i made a very very bad choice. We had burger king. I was hungry and really still in shock. This is my no means cause for having something very very bad to eat but it was the only place open and well we were hungry. All i kept thinking about was how i fed my nan and it was very upsetting. I was extremely quiet. William did all he could to try and comfort me by saying i was amazing, but its no use, I am just doing what anyone who have done in the circumstances.
I have to take a break now as this pretty much sums up my weekend. So until, after my call from Tammy at 4pm i will blog then.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
